


Wrong Number Roulette

by chowderr



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Bipolar isn't the only thing that makes him bi, F/F, F/M, James Potter is a Good Friend, James Potter works at a coffee shop, Lily Evans Potter is So Done, Lily Evans works at a bookstore, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Nice Peter Pettigrew, Out of Character Peter Pettigrew, Peter Pettigrew works retail, Remus Lupin is Bad at Feelings, Remus Lupin is Not a Werewolf, Remus Lupin is So Done, Remus Lupin works at an auto repair shop, Sirius Black is a Little Shit, Sirius Black is unemployed, Slow Burn, Texting, Wolfstar-centric, because he's also bisexual, but he's sweet in this, haha get it, he's "too good for a job", he's just very accident prone and bipolar, he's out of character bc he's a piece of shit in canon, jily, really he just still has access to his family's fortune somehow, they're all muggles, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:22:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 18,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28523142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chowderr/pseuds/chowderr
Summary: James Potter gets bored one day and decides why not make a group chat with four random numbers with the same area code as him? Those numbers happen to belong to Sirius Black, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Chaos ensues, of course.A/N: primarily a text fic just for fun, but I might do fully written stuff now and then to move the story along. don't expect the chapters to be too long, but i'll try to update regularly
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marauders & Lily Evans Potter, Marauders & friends, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Mary Macdonald/Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Sirius Black's Motorbike
Comments: 144
Kudos: 250





	1. James' Phone

**Author's Note:**

> \- they don't know each other  
> \- they're all in their early 20s  
> \- Marlene, Dorcas, Frank, and Alice will show up later
> 
> faceclaims:  
> james - dev patel  
> sirius - robert sheehan  
> lily - karen gillan  
> peter - dane deehan  
> 

_Jan 3rd, 10:42pm_

_**You created a group chat with 4 unknown numbers** _

**You:** ',:)

 **(***)***-****:** I think you added the wrong number.

 **(***)***-****:** who is this

 **You:** your new bff :)

 **You:** no wrong numbers! 

**(***)***-****:** great, i'm deleting this

 **You:** no!!!

 **(***)***-****:** Hiii what is this??

 **You:** im bored i wanted to see if i could befriend some random people :( please dont leave yet

 **You:** im james :D what can i call you guys?

 **(***)***-****:** My name is peter!

_**You changed (***)***-****'s contact to Peter** _

**You:** hi peter!

 **Peter:** Hi james!!

 **You:** what abt the rest of you??

 **(***)***-****:** im sirius

_**You changed (***)***-****'s contact to Sirius** _

**You:** that's a weird name :0

 **Sirius:** your a weird name

 **(***)***-****:** You're.

 **Sirius:** shut up it was a typo :(

 **Peter:** Who are u!!

 **(***)***-****:** Death.

 **Peter:** Oh

 **Sirius:** well arent you fun

 **You:** ok well what about the other number?? do you wanna share?

 **(***)***-****:** I might as well, I have nothing better to do

 **(***)***-****:** I'm Lily

**_You changed (***)***-****'s contact to Lily_ **

**Sirius:** oooo a girl

 **Peter:** Ew

 **You:** nice to meet you lily! :D

 **Lily:** Don't be fucking weird about it

 **Sirius:** sorry ma'am

 **Peter:** Death are u still here??

 **(***)***-****:** For some reason, yes.

 **You:** no name? :(

 **(***)***-****:** No.

 **Sirius:** cant believe you use periods when you text

 **(***)***-****:** Can't believe you're named after a fucking dog star.

 **Sirius:** hey, they know their astrology

 **Lily:** Get a room

 **Sirius:** im down ;)

 **(***)***-****:** No.

_**You changed (***)***-****'s contact to Death** _

**You:** well youre death until you warm up!

 **Death:** What makes you think that's gonna happen?

 **Peter:** Death used slang!

 **Sirius:** idk if gonna could be considered slang, pete

 **Sirius:** appreciate the effort though

 **Death:** It's an informal contraction.

 **Lily:** As amusing as this is, I could very well be talking to a bunch of 60 year old men right now

 **You:** wait no!! im 21, please don't worry

_**You sent 1 attachment** _

**You:** thats me! photo cred to my friend :)

 **Sirius** **:** OKAAAYYY KING

 **Peter:** Ur very handsome!

 **Lily:** did a reverse image search and didn't get anything, so okay, I'm 21 too

 **Death:** Ditto.

 **Death:** Wasn't expecting James to be hot.

 **You:** ayyyeeee ;) thanks guys

 **Sirius:** are we just gonna ignore that death is 21 and not an old man

 **Sirius:** I don't buy it

 **Peter:** Im also 21!

 **Sirius:** youre fucking kidding me

 **Peter:**????

 **Sirius:** im 20

 **You:** HAHA lil baby

_**Sirius sent 1 attachment** _

**Sirius:** shut up four eyes

 **You:** you're literally wearing glasses in that picture

 **Sirius:** theyre SUNglasses

 **You:** uh huh

 **Peter:** Oh ur handsome too!!

 **Sirius:** i know

 **James:** isn't he <3

 **Sirius:** ew

 **Lily:** stop flirting with each other

 **Sirius:** jealous?

 **Lily:** Not at all

_**You changed Sirius's contact to hubby <3** _

**You:** its okay if you are lils!

 **Lily:** ffs

 **Lily:** moving on

_**Lily sent 1 attachment** _

**You:** HGYFDDVJHKBJIHGUFYTDCYCGJVHKH YOURE SO PRETTY

_**You changed Lily's contact to loml** _

**hubby <3** **:** oh no

 **loml:** Oh no

 **Peter:** Hes not wrong!

 **Peter:** Youre all really pretty I feel very out of place

 **loml:** I'm sure you're pretty too, Peter

 **You:** wh,,at she said fhgbejladwhogudiyvhbfev

_**Peter sent 1 attachment** _

**loml:** you are! see?

 **hubby <3:** awe, baby face

 **Peter:** Is that bad??

 **hubby <3:** no! dont worry mate

 **Peter:** Oh, thank u then?

 **Peter:** Is james still alive?

 **hubby <3: **don't think so

 **You:** no

 **Peter:** Ok, what about death?

 **Death:** Unfortunately.

 **hubby <3: **pretty creepy to just stalk this, we don't even know your name

 **Death:** Fucking hell.

 **Death:** Remus. 

**You:** Remus??? :D

 **Death:** You can read can't you?

_**You changed Death's contact to Remus** _

**hubby <3:** weird name

 **Remus:** So is yours.

 **loml:** idk, I like it. Like the roman myth, right? the one with the twins?

 **Remus:** Yeah, the one that dies.

 **hubby <3: **LMAOO YOUR PARENTS DID YOU DIRTY

 **Remus:** I'm fully aware.

 **Peter:** Ouch :(

 **Remus:** They're great, didn't think through the name though. At least I don't have a brother.

 **hubby <3: **was that a joke? from death themself?

 **Remus:** Himself, but sort of.

 **You:** remus youre doing amazing

 **Remus:** Thank you.

 **Peter:** Guys I have an early shift so I need to go to sleep but Ill talk to u later???

 **You:** YES! sleep well!

 **hubby <3: **gn

 **loml:** Night peter :) I should go too, I have an early shift too

 **Remus:** Goodnight. I need to sleep too. No early shift. I'd just like to go to bed now.

 **You:** aw, okay :( sweet dreams!

_**Remus is offline** _

_**Peter is offline** _

_**loml is** **offline**_

**hubby <3: **you have an early shift too dont you

 **You:** yeah :') low on staff, extra shifts

 **You:** its fine though i can chat!

 **hubby <3: **noooo get your beauty sleep 

**You:** aghgdjhg okay thanks mate!!

 **hubby <3: **dont thank me?? gn

 **You:** goodnight sirius!!

_**You went offline** _


	2. Sirius' Phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius' contacts:  
> James - hot stuff  
> Lily - lily  
> Peter - pete  
> Remus - creep

_Jan 4th, 12:17pm_

**_hot stuff is online_ **

**hot stuff:** HELLOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL NEW FRIENDS

 **hot stuff:** dont ignore me :(

_Jan 4th, 12:30pm_

**hot stuff:** fucking RUDE

_**You are online** _

**You:** patient arent we?

 **hot stuff:** not at all

 **hot stuff:** but hi!! how are you?

 **You:** hi :) im fine wbu

 **hot stuff:** i'm good! done anything interesting?

 **You:** honestly no and its a fucking nightmare

 **hot stuff:** :((( go out! do something fun idiot

 **You:** maybe later

 **You:** currently trying to see how much shit i can stack on a pillow without it falling over

_**lily is online** _

**lily:** that seems like a huge waste of time

 **You:** its not its very educational

 **hot stuff:** hi lily!!! <3

 **lily:** hello, James

 **hot stuff:** :D and how are you

 **lily:** I was better before I started talking to you

 **hot stuff:** :'(

 **You:** dont be mean to him >:(

 **lily:** already paired up huh?

_**pete is online** _

**pete:** Hi!!!

 **lily:** hi Peter :)

 **lily:** if we're pairing up then I'm with peter

 **pete:** Oh!! okay!

 **hot stuff:** WHAAT

 **You:** you dont like me enough to be your partner?

 **hot stuff:** NO youre my bae shut up

 **You:** weve known each other for less than a day but im weirdly ok with this

 **hot stuff:** ;)

 **pete:** If we're pairing up what about remus??? :(

 **pete:** He doesn't get a partner

 **You:** hes fucking weird anyways

 **You:** i cant be the only one that thinks hes weird as fuck

 **lily:** you hold a fair point but it's not a very nice one

 **hot stuff:** aw come on sirius :(

_**creep is online** _

**You:** how convenient

 **creep:** If you have a problem, address me directly.

 **You:** i think youre weird and i dont trust you

 **creep:** Thanks for the input, I don't fucking care.

 **You:** excuse me, we have no clue what you look like, and tbh you act like a douche and that doesnt help your case on whether or not youre creepy

 **creep:** My face isn't any of your damned business.

 **hot stuff:** eheh okay guys calm down

 **hot stuff:** remus dont worry about it its not like its a requirement to show yourself

 **creep:** I don't even know why I'm still here.

 **You:** me neither

 **creep:** I need to go. I'm at work and it's busy right now.

 **pete:** bye remus!!!

_**creep is offline** _

**hot stuff:** you could've been a little nicer about that sirius :(

 **lily:** I completely understand where you were coming from but I still have to agree with James (ew) you were a little harsh

 **You:** so?

 **hot stuff:** well he's never gonna show his face if he doesn't like you :/

 **hot stuff:** and maybe he's nice maybe he's just a little defensive

 **pete:** ^^^^

 **You:** jesus fine, ill chill out a little next time

 **You:** dont come for my arse about it

 **lily:** you said he sounded like a douche but you do too right now

 **lily:** two douches

 **lily:** a love story for the ages

 **You:** hell fucking no ew

 **pete:** LOL

 **You:** oh my god pete says lol

 **hot stuff:** pete says lol!!

 **pete:**????

 **pete:** What's wrong with lol??

 **lily:** nothing Peter, ignore them

 **You:** its all about the keyboard slam

 **pete:** The what???

 **You:** HAHGSJWIGDVWHGBFTUVGIBHOSDGFUVAHAHSHUBWH

 **pete:** Mom come pick me up I'm scared

 **hot stuff:** BHSVGWHSICFGYWTFCYQGVHJDIUYXGYP

 **You:** GHGESYVGEJHWBDOGSYVHBGFCVSYIBGUOHYHGOB

 **hot stuff:** HEDGYHBWJGSVJHDBKGOUWBVSFTQYGSOHPGXVBAJHOPIX

 **You:** JHSWGVHBKJHUXIGCWZVJGHKBOHSQGUSIYVWHGFSUYIGUOWDGFIVHBOH

 **lily:** hey what the fuck

_**pete is offline** _

**lily:** great going you scared off Peter

 **hot stuff:** wait i'm sorry D:

 **You:**......

 **You:** BVDGHBKJWZCFYGJVIHSCFHYQGJVKHBLJGUOFYIDCTURSEZDFSGFCJGUVKIOGPH

_**Lily is** **offline** _

**hot stuff:** LILLYYYYYYYYYYY

 **You:** what a shame

 **hot stuff:** well i'm gonna go cry

 **You:** have fun :)

 **hot stuff:** thank you bae

_**hot stuff is offline** _

_**creep is** _ **_online_**

**creep:** What the fuck.

_**creep is offline** _

**You:** what did i say weird

_**You went offline** _


	3. Lily's Phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lily's contacts:  
> James - potential stalker  
> Sirius - anger issues?  
> Peter - peter  
> Remus - remus

_Jan 5th, 3:00am_

**_anger issues? is online_ **

**anger issues?:** fuck bitches get money

_**potential stalker is online** _

**potential stalker:** hear me out

 **potential stalker:** get money fuck one bitch

 **anger issues?:** i mean who's the bitch though

 **potential stalker:** up to you that's why you get money first you have to take them out to dinner and finesse them

_**You are online** _

**potential stalker:** lily!! she showed up when i mentioned my plan, i think she likes it :D

 **anger issues?:** ooooooooo

 **You:** I do not like it

 **You:** it's 3 in the morning why the hell are you both awake

 **anger issues?:** i dont sleep

 **potential stalker:** I accidentally set my alarm too early so here we are

 **anger issues?:** booooooo

 **You:** then just fucking go back to sleep

_**remus is online** _

**remus:** stop fuckjnhg bloowing up my phone

 **potential stalker:** holy s h i t what happened to the proper grammar?

 **remus:** im fucijng exhausred and curretnlt stuck ojn the side of the road

 **You:** I'm sorry what?

 **anger issues?:** i beg your fucking pardon

 **remus:** fuck off

 **anger issues?:** well he managed to spell the most important phrase right, he'll be fine

 **You:** shut up, it's 3 am and he's on the side of a road, don't be an arse right now

 **remus:** spekaing of arses is it phsyicaillly possibke for them to freezd off causebi am very cold

 **potential stalker:** dude what are you even doing out?

_**remus sent 1** **attachment** _

****

**remus:** got drsagged out w/ a frienf and ran outnof gas on the way homr

 **anger issues?:** vandalism? from you?

 **remus:** shut up

 **anger issues?:** when hes a baddie

 **remus:** iim goinh t o break your spine

 **You:** Remus I was so hopeful you were a functional member of society

 **remus:** i am! look itrs good advice, dont be a cunt

 **potential stalker:** he has a point lils

 **anger issues?:** arent you sort of a cunt though

 **remus:** fouhdn a station bye

_**remus is offline** _

**potential stalker:** is it unreasonable to be genuinely worried about him

 **You:** No

 **anger issues?:** yes

 **potential stalker:** ://

 **potential stalker:** im gonna go back to sleep, lmk if i miss any update on remus!!

 **You:** sure thing

_**potential stalker is offline** _

* * *

_**anger issues? messaged you privately** _

**anger issues?:** dont interrogate me

 **You:** I wasn't going to

 **anger issues?:** you really arent suspicious of him?

 **anger issues?:** at all?

 **You:** now you're interrogating me

 **You:** of course there's a little bit of doubt, but he hasn't done anything to deserve that yet

 **anger issues?:** keyword yet

 **You:** Sirius, I don't know you, James, or Peter either

 **You:** you're acting like he's intruded on a lifelong friend group, he joined the same time we did, calm down

 **anger issues?:** still, i dont even know what he looks like

 **You:** give it time and stop being rude

_**anger issues is offline** _

* * *

_**You messaged remus privately** _

**You:** hope you sorted out the car thing, I'm sorry a certain s o m e o n e is being a dick


	4. Remus' Phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> texting & written chapter
> 
> Remus' contacts:  
> Lily - Nice  
> Sirius - Bitch  
> James - Sort of charming  
> Peter: Also nice

_Jan 5th, 3:17am_

_**Nice messaged you privately** _

**Nice:** hope you sorted out the car thing, I'm sorry a certain s o m e o n e is being a dick

_Jan 5th, 9:00am_

**You:** I did, thank you.

 **You:** Don't worry about it, it's nothing I'm not used to.

* * *

Remus was sprawled out on the floor of his small, messy flat, phone raised above his head so he could stare at the bright screen. Something inside of him kept screaming to reach out, to connect more, but that was something he'd always been awful at. Honestly, it was a miracle he even had any friends in the first place. Thank god for Alice and Frank. However, even with them he felt out of place. That made perfect sense though, considering the two were a couple practically head over heels for each other and Remus was often just a third wheel. They were the perfect couple too. Dating since sixth form and still going on strong. It wouldn't be a surprise to anyone if they announced their engagement, especially considering those damned promise rings they wore every day. Sometimes? Well sometimes, they drove Remus just mad. He loved them obviously, or they wouldn't be friends, but when one has a love life as disastrous as Remus Lupin's, it grew painful to watch happy couples on a daily basis. The brunette was always thrown into a whirlpool of 'is it me?' 'am I doing it all wrong?' 'do I really deserve love?' 'what if I never find the right person?' etc. etc. whenever questioned about said love life, so his friends had learned to stop asking ages ago unless they wanted to put him in a deep trance full of pure anxiety. 

Right now, all Remus could do was his best attempt at befriending three random strangers who'd guessed his number. Wonderful. Things were really looking up (note the sarcasm.)

Maybe not right now. Later. He'd do it later. 

* * *

_Jan 5th, 2:46pm_

**_You are online_ **

**You:** Hello.

_**Bitch is** **online**_

**Bitch:** stop using periods

 **You:** Why?

 **Bitch:** you look like a douche

 **You:** Fuck you too.

 **Bitch:** no thanks

 **You:** Ew.

 **You:** My standards may be low, but they aren't by that much.

 **Bitch:** excuse you, guys fall head over heels for me all the time

 **You:** And then you open your big mouth and they run away.

 **Bitch:** this big mouth comes in handy

_**Sort of charming is online** _

**Sort of charming:** get a room!!

 **You:** Fuck off.

 **Bitch:** gross james

 **Sort of charming:** you could cut the sexual tension with a paper clip

_**Also nice is online** _

**Also nice:** ew :/

 **Bitch:** thank you pete

_**Nice is online** _

**Nice:** no, he's got a point

 **You:** Lily.

 **Nice:** sorry Remus

 **Bitch:** im a sexy bitch, remus couldn't get me in a million years

 **You:** I don't even want to.

 **You:** I think you wanna get me. You're obsessed with me.

 **Sort of charming:** ooooooooo

 **Also** **nice:** Oh shit :0

 **Bitch:** where the hell did you get that from

 **Nice:** you do keep bringing up his face

 **Bitch:** lily who's side are you on

 **Nice:** oh Remus', definitely

 **Sort of charming:** LMAO SORRY MATE

 **Bitch:** wow you guys suck

 **Also nice:** :(( All of us?

 **Bitch:** not you pete

 **Also nice:** Oh okie 

**You:** Thanks. :)

 **Bitch:** if you all will excuse me i gotta go

 **Sort of charming:** aw noooo 

**You:** You're avoiding the discussion.

 **Bitch:** byyyyeeee

_**Bitch is offline** _

**Nice:** um so anyways

 **Also nice:** :P

 **Sort of charming:** remus u guys are gonna hook up right

 **You:** Hell no.

 **Nice:** yeah they are

 **Sort of charming:** invite me to the wedding!

 **You:** I'm disgusted.

 **Also nice:** Me too

 **Nice:** sorry Peter

 **Sort of charming:** sorryyyy

 **You:** I actually have to go too. Gotta get back to work.

 **Sort of charming:** and where's work???

 **You:** No.

 **Sort of charming:** fair enough

_**You went offline** _


	5. Sirius' POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is pretty short and different so sorry about that (๑•﹏•)  
> i haven't looked at it on the laptop format yet so i know it's probably even shorter than i think it is but shhhh it gets the job done

Sometimes, Sirius got lost. Not physically, no no. Sometimes Sirius got lost in his own head. Whether he was caught up in silly fantasies or overreactions that spun him into a frenzy, it didn't matter much, because it was all the same. Perhaps his short temper and paranoia were something he should work on, however it never crossed his mind for long enough to actually seek assistance. No matter, it was something he'd worry about another time. 

It was quite a slow day, but when was it not for Sirius Black? He was unemployed and apart from Marlene Mckinnon, he didn't have any friends he liked enough to spend time with regularly. Well, he liked James, Lily and Peter, though could he really consider them friends? Maybe. He wasn't sure. He just knew he didn't like Remus. He also knew he had no real reason to dislike the fellow, he just didn't. It was completely childish but he really couldn't help it, it was that damned paranoia screaming at him as per usual. Every person Sirius spoke with that was even remotely rude caused an influx of needless worries, and of course got defensive as a response. Oh, if only he could realize just how foolish it was. In any case, Sirius sat lazily about his flat, moving from chair to couch to barstool to bed and all back again, waiting for something he couldn't quite recall.

Sirius was, however, reminded of that thing when his phone began to ring loudly right next to his ear and significantly startling him. Oh, his motorbike, of course. How he'd forgotten he'd sent it in for a repair, he wasn't sure, especially considering how dearly he loved the thing, but that didn't matter much, did it? Begrudgingly, Sirius accepted the call and was greeted by a tired, raspy voice on the other end. 

"Hullo, Black, is it? You oughtta come pick up your bike, you know," the man said, a hint of annoyance clearly beaming through his tone.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm on my way, I got distracted and didn't see the ti-"

"I didn't call looking for excuses, it's just a reminder. Now if _you'll_ excuse _me_ , I've still got work to do."

With that, the call was over as quickly as it had started. Huh. For someone who worked in customer service, he wasn't really very nice. This was one time Sirius would let it slide though, because whoever the man on the other line was, he had his baby. Yes that was dramatic, but he treasured that bike more than his own life, if we're being completely truthful here. Not that it mattered right now, because the longer he lounged about, lost in thought, the longer it would take to pick up his bike. Obviously. Hurriedly, Sirius sprung up from his place on the sofa and pulled on his shoes to run out the door, only barely grabbing his keys on the way out.

The walk to the shop was nothing special. One or two dogs that he couldn't help but stop to pet, but that was the most exciting it got. Sirius always found it nice to go out and stretch his limbs though, so at least there was that. Had he lived any farther away, it may have felt like a chore, but Sirius was lucky to live close enough to the shop that it just felt like a nice stroll, only taking around fifteen minutes or so. The garage door was propped open, revealing a man working intently underneath someone's bright red car. 'Definitely not a good color,' Sirius thought. He let out a cough to alert the other that he was there, but he didn't seem to notice. Looking around the room, Sirius noticed a few key things. Post it notes covered the wall behind what he assumed could only be the man's desk, the lights were a ghastly bright white (good for seeing what you were doing, but they made anyone that stepped inside look like a corpse,) dirty rags were thrown about here and there, as were tools and other assorted knick knacks. All in all, not a very well organized workspace. Finally, Sirius' eyes landed on a desk bell and he struck it twice, hoping that was the system.

That was, as it seemed, the system, because the man immediately noticed and got out from under the car, though not without hitting his head first. Once he stood up though, that was when Sirius got a decent idea of who he was dealing with. The man was incredibly tall, much more so than Sirius, and his limbs were skinny and gangly to match the beanpole stereotype to a T. He had a large, slightly hooked nose, amber eyes that looked positively exhausted, and a very overgrown mousy brown mullet that frankly looked like it had been through hell and back. He was attractive though, there was no doubt about that. Looking the man up and down as subtly as he could, Sirius couldn't help but stare as he pulled off the gloves he'd been wearing to reveal long, thin, and clearly worn hands that weirdly enough made the shorter man's heart flutter. 

"You're here for-?" the man started, prompting Sirius to finish the statement. Oh. Oh he was the one who'd been on the phone. Shit. 

"Black. Here for my motorbike," Sirius answered. The man finally took an actual look at Sirius and seemed to falter for a few moments as though he wasn't expecting the person that had just walked into his garage.

"Black, right. Be with you in a moment-" he held up a finger and walked away just enough to peek his head through the doorway that led inside the shop. "Brandy! Triumph Bonneville, Black's here to pick it up!" His accent was thick, one that Sirius assumed was Welsh. It would be no surprise if the man was hard to understand at times, but Sirius found his voice just as attractive as his appearance nonetheless. Sounded better in person than he had on the phone. Sirius could spot his bike in the corner of the garage, so he wasn't quite sure why the man needed to call his co-worker about it, but whatever. As long as his baby was fixed, he wasn't going to question their process. Considering the man came pulled his head right back in as soon as he'd yelled, Sirius took a wild guess and went with that they just were keeping track of things. That made sense. 

"Busy today?" Sirius asked. The man shrugged. 

"Not really. We don't really have busy days, it's not like everyone's crashing their shit all at once," he said. For whatever weird reason, his face was red, and getting progressively more so. The smaller of the two had absolutely no idea why, but it was sort of cute. Sirius watched the man lug his bike over and inspect it once more, while Sirius did his own investigation of the man's hands again from afar. They bore a multitude of scars, which didn't come as a surprise considering he seemed to work with his hands a lot. The scars continued up his hand and under his long sleeve though, which Sirius had to admit was odd (or at least potentially worrying) but he wasn't going to jump to conclusions about this stranger, hot or not. After he seemed to be satisfied, the man stood up from where he was crouched and patted the seat of the bike. "Just go talk to Brandy about paying and you're all set."

Sirius nodded and thanked the man as he was escorted to the door inside. Did he need to be escorted? No, but it was kind of nice. Anyways, he did as he was told, paid up, chatted with Brandy for a bit longer than he'd meant to, and went back into the garage for his motorbike. The man had gone back to the red car and was now hunched over it's open hood. Sirius could tinker with things, but more often than not he just guessed and messed them up, so he'd be lying if he said he had any idea what the man was doing. 

"Thanks again, mate," Sirius said, almost grabbing the other man's shoulder.

"It's literally my job."

"Still," he shrugged. "I'll see you around, hot stuff." Sirius winked at him and rode off just about as fast as he could within reason, leaving the man standing there with his mouth agape in shock.

"Well fuck me." Remus groaned.


	6. Remus' POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very short again (most written chapters will be, they're just to move the story along,) basically a repeat of the last chapter with anecdotes from Remus instead of Sirius

Remus was never quite sure what he was doing. He was very good at pretending he did, but in reality he was just as confused as anyone else. Truthfully, he may have been even more so than most folks. Between rapid mood swings and a weak immune system, if he wasn't at work he was probably home alone trying to beat off the depressing atmosphere that plagued his flat. Thankfully, he didn't have to do that right now. Working with his hands always helped Remus feel more grounded, so he'd certainly lucked out when it came to his employment. The pay wasn't anything noteworthy, honestly it was a little under what it should have been, especially considering how much Remus worked, but he didn't ask for more because the job at least kept him from slamming his head into a wall (not to mention still supplied him with enough money to have food and his own flat.) He owed a lot to Brandy, as well, who was kind enough to be very flexible about his work hours when he was having an episode. Remus hadn't had many jobs beforehand and was always fired fairly quickly because he couldn't quite manage to meet their expectations, and finding a job was a whole nother story. He wasn't really an ideal candidate, so that made it all the more shocking that Brandy had given him a chance.

So yeah, years of stressing over how he was ever going to survive on his own and a few more struggling to do just that all led to this. Remus was at work, doing his best to fix a car that just absolutely refused to start. With a huff, he decided a short break was fair enough and left it to go over to his desk and take a large gulp of his shitty off-brand energy drink. Glancing around the garage, his eyes locked on a black motorbike in the back. Looking at the clock, it had been about two or three hours since he’d finished with it and the owner still had yet to pick it up. Of course. With a considerable amount of annoyance, Remus grabbed the shop’s phone and, after looking at the owner’s contact info, dialed the number. There was something oddly familiar about the number, but he didn’t think much of it, considering that couldn’t have been the first time he’d looked over the form. After much longer than Remus would consider polite, the owner picked up.

“Hullo, Black, is it? You oughtta come pick up your bike, you know,” he said the second he was able.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm on my way, I got distracted and didn't see the ti-" the man on the other line said that as though Remus cared what his reasoning was.

“I didn’t call looking for excuses, it’s just a reminder. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve still got work to do.” On that note, Remus hung up. Maybe he could’ve been more friendly, but he already wasn’t having a great day, and he was just not in the mood to deal with customers.

The next fifteen minutes, give or take, were spent underneath that stupid red Volkswagen that just would not, for the life of him or anyone else, start working. Thankfully, he heard someone enter the garage and let the customer wander around for a couple seconds as he finished up as best he could for now. Remus was always relieved when he got out from under a car. He liked his job, but the small amount of space he had to work made him incredibly nervous sometimes, and it didn't help that it took a few minutes to shake said nervousness. 

"You're here for-?" Remus asked as he pulled off this gloves. He still had yet to actually look at the customer, but there was a flash of black hair in the corner of his eye.

"Black. Here for my motorbike," The customer answered. Remus turned to glance at him and was met with a very familiar face, one that nearly have him a damn heart attack. That was Sirius. Ohh fuck, that was Sirius. The phone number guy, it was him. He was here. In Remus' garage. And he seemingly didn't have a single clue that he knew Remus. How could he know? Sirius had never seen what Remus looked like.

"Black, right. Be with you in a moment-" The young man did his very best to compose himself, and he assumed it had worked, because Sirius didn't seem all the wiser. "Brandy! Triumph Bonneville, Black's here to pick it up!" Remus shouted, poking his head out of the door into the main shop. As he turned to Sirius again, he couldn't help the thoughts from flooding into his head. God, he was pretty. He'd already known that, but still. Sirius was stunning. An arsehole, but stunning nonetheless. Remus wondered if he should tell Sirius it was him. Yeah, the creep from the random numbers group chat. Ultimately, he decided he preferred being anonymous. Anonymity comes in handy when you hate everything about your appearance (along with other things.)

"Busy today?" Remus shrugged in response to Sirius' sarcasm.

"Not really. We don't really have busy days, it's not like everyone's crashing their shit all at once," he could feel his face heating up and turning red as he spoke. It shouldn't have been, but it was embarrassing to talk to Sirius as thought he was a stranger (he still sort of was) despite having spoken to him multiple times before. He knew Sirius would be a dick if Remus told him the truth though. Well whatever. Everything was sort of a blur from there. He remembered checking over the motorbike one last time before handing it off to Sirius and saying "Just go talk to Brandy about paying and you're all set." He remembered showing Sirius to the Brandy at the register. He remembered fussing with the car again, and he remembered the small exchange after that.

"Thanks again, mate," Sirius had said.

"It's literally my job."

"Still. I'll see you around, hot stuff." Sirius rode off after giving the taller man a wink, and Remus was left standing in complete and utter shock.

"Well fuck me." This would not end in Remus' favor. Not much ever did, but this especially. Hot stuff? Sirius had called _him_ hot stuff? Oh good god, he was doomed. How was he ever going to say anything in that stupid chat again without fearing for his life? It was completely irrational, obviously he knew that, but he couldn't help it. A hot guy he knew called him hot, but the hot guy didn't know they knew each other. What the hell was Remus going to do.


	7. James' Phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James' contacts:  
> Sirius - hubby <3  
> Peter - petey  
> Lily - loml  
> Remus - remmio

_Jan 6th, 10:02am_

_**You are online** _

**You:** hey hotties ;)

_**hubby <3 is online** _

**hubby <3: **heyyy babe ;))

 **hubby <3:** omfg guess what

 **You:** what????

_**petey is online** _

**petey:** Ooooo what??

 **hubby** **< 3: **idk what area you guys are in but theres an auto repair place by me and there's a r e a l l y hot guy working there

 **You:** get that dick!

 **petey:** Do you even know him?

 **hubby <3:** no but im gonna

 **hubby <3: **im willing to sacrifice by beloved motorbike to seduce this man istg

 **You:** I'm sorry you have a motorbike? forget the hot guy marry me right now you're so cool

 **hubby <3:** threesome?

 **You:** I'm down

 **petey:** Eww

_**loml is online** _

**loml:** Stop sexting each other in the chat

_**remmio is online** _

**remmio:** Stop texting in the chat.

 **hubby <3: **stop being a fucking buzzkill

 **hubby <3: **to both of you but mostly remus

 **remmio:** omfg.

 **You:** shhh it's okay sirius I'll kiss you better

 **hubby <3: **>3<

 **You:** o3o

 **loml:** oh my god i hate you guys

 **remmio:** I will track you both down and fucking curbstomp you.

 **hubby <3: **oh ur kinky?

 **remmio:** Shut the fuck up.

 **hubby <3: **that really shouldn't surprise me, discord mod looking arse

_**remmio is offline** _

**petey:** Sirius :(( I like Remus

**_remmio is online_ **

**remmio:** Thanks Pete I like you too.

_**remmio is offline.** _

**petey:** :))

 **You:** Remuuuuusss cmon 

**loml:** he's smart to leave

 **hubby <3: **cant argue with that for once

* * *

_Jan 6th, 10:13am_

**_You messaged remmio privately_ **

**You:** hey I know I joke around with sirius a lot but if he ever genuinely upsets you let me know okay?

* * *

_Jan 6th, 10:14am_

**You:** so what about garage guy was so great??

 **hubby <3: **dude.

 **hubby <3: **hes so tall i swear hes like 6'2 at LEAST 

**petey:** Holy shit I'm only 5'3

 **You:** pocket pete!

_**You changed petey's contact to pocket pete** _

**You:** continue :)

 **hubby <3: **right obviously theres the whole mechanic thing

 **You:** obviously 

**You:** wait how strong do you think he is? stronger than me??

 **hubby <3: **he was super skinny but i mean hes gotta be strong right

 **hubby <3: **toned twig

 **hubby <3: **and idk how strong you are man

 **You:** I play football and I work out regularly

 **hubby <3: **oh shit

 **hubby <3:** i really might have to marry you

 **hubby <3: **i play football too

 **You:** REALLY???

 **hubby <3: **YEAH 

**You:** Sirius my love you know this means we're going to go meet up r i g h t n o w right?

 **hubby <3: **yes of course omfg 

**hubby <3: **central park? fr? right now??

 **You:** yes!!

_**hubby <3 is offline** _

_**You went offline** _


	8. Lily's Phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lily's contacts:  
> Sirius - anger issues?  
> James - potential stalker  
> Peter - peter  
> Remus - remus

_Jan 7, 3:00pm_

**_potential stalker is online_ **

**potential stalker:** Sirius is my new best friend

 **potential stalker** **:** we've been together all day he's literally so cool

_**anger issues? is online** _

**anger issues?:** WDYM YOU'RE THE COOL ONE

 **potential stalker:** YOU AAARRRRREEEE

 **anger issues?:** pls ur so hot

 **potential stalker:** (ʃƪ＾3＾)

 **anger issues?:** ( ˘ ³˘)

_**You are online** _

**You:** please shut up and just get married already

 **potential stalker:** wait lils I'm sorry are you jealous :((

 **You:** Stop.

 **anger issues?:** lmao you sound like remus

 **potential stalker:** wait but if it's actually upsetting let me know Lily :(

 **You:** do you actually care?

 **potential stalker:** yes!! why wouldn't I??? I don't wanna make people uncomfortable I'm not a dick

 **You:** huh

 **anger issues?:** hes sexy and considerate

 **potential stalker:** wait omg speaking of sexy when are you gonna see garage guy again

 **anger issues?:** i miiiight go back tomorrow? just say i have some questions or smth and then ask him out

 **potential stalker:** you gotta keep us updated!!

 **anger issues?:** oh of course but spoiler alert he's definitely gonna say yes

 **You:** how could you possibly know that?

 **anger issues?:** cause im a straight up hottie? thought that was obvious

 **You:** you have way too much self confidence for your own good

* * *

_Jan 7th, 3:08pm_

**_remus messaged you and peter privately_**

**remus:** I need to tell you something.

 **peter:**????

 **You:** oh?

 **remus:** You know the "garage guy" Sirius keeps talking about?

 **peter:** Yeah!

 **You** **:** yeah, what about him?

 **remus:** It's me.

 **remus:** I work at an auto repair shop. He came in the other day to pick up his motorbike.

 **peter:** OMG Really???

 **You:** are you serious?

 **peter:** No he's not Sirius is

 **remus:** Peter I already regret telling you this.

 **peter:** Sorryyy :')

 **You:** okay but actually, you're not kidding?

 **remus:** No? Why would I be kidding about this? It's a horrible joke.

 **You:** holy shit

 **peter:** Sirius wants to fuck you and doesn't even know it LOL

 **remus:** What the fuck am I supposed to do

 **peter:** Oh my god wait

 **peter:** You're 6'2???

 **remus:** 6'4

 **peter:** WHAT

 **You:** what the fuck

 **You:** you're a giant

 **remus:** Trust me I know.

 **You:** okay ignoring that nightmare of a fact, are you gonna tell him?

 **remus:** I don't know if I can.

 **peter:** Why not?

 **remus:** Well he hates me, first of all.

 **You:** I don't think he hates you, he's just

 **You:** idk defensive? is that the right word?

 **peter:** I don't think so

 **remus:** Paranoid?

 **You:** yeah, see? you've got it, you know he's just jumping to conclusions. 

**You:** the longer you go without telling him the more likely he is to actually hate you, you know

 **peter:** Do you wanna go on a date with him though??

 **remus:** I don't know.

 **remus:** Maybe. He's pretty. He seems nice enough, just not to me.

 **peter:** You are really distant I think he just wants u to open up a little bit

 **peter:** Also maybe no more periods !! They are a lil bit spooky

 **remus:** They're grammatically correct, not spooky.

 **remus:** But fine, no more periods

 **You:** that's a start!

 **You:** just try to be yourself, anyone that works at a repair garage and goes to do graffiti in the middle of the night with his friend can't be as stuck up as you sound when you text

 **remus:** Shut up

 **peter:** I mean she has a point,,,,

 **remus:** Fine, okay

 **remus:** I have to go. Please don't say anything to James or Sirius

 **You:** oh that's easy

 **peter:** Ok!!

 **remus:** Thank you

_**remus is offline** _

* * *

_Jan 7th, 3:15pm_

**_You messaged peter privately_ **

**You:** so we're making sure Remus keeps his word right

 **peter:** Oh absolutely! :)

 **You:** Awesome

_**You went offline** _


	9. Peter's phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sort of a filler chapter! sorry!
> 
> Peter's contacts:  
> James - Dorky one  
> Sirius - Hot one  
> Lily - Flower girl  
> Remus - Mystery boy

_Jan 8th, 11:36am_

**_You are online_ **

**You:** You guys! Guess what :)

_**Dorky one is online** _

**Dorky one:** what??

_**Hot one is online** _

**Hot one:** huh

 **You:** I have a date :D

 **Dorky one:** YEAAHH GO PETE

 **Hot one:** oh thats awesome :)

_**Flower girl is online** _

**Flower girl:** aww, that's great Peter

 **Flower girl:** what are they like?

 **You:** Her name is Mary!! I met her at the library a few weeks ago and she's really nice :)!

_**Mystery boy is online** _

**Mystery boy:** Congratulations :]

 **Hot one:** not to take attention away from pete's accomplishment great job buddy proud of u but can we discuss the fact that remus uses fucking :] instead of :)

 **You:** I like it!

 **Flower girl:** me too

 **Hot one:** i thought james was supposed to be the blind one

 **Dorky one:** Sirius...

 **Dorky one:** I kinda like it too

 **Hot one:** what

 **Dorky one:** idk it's endearing!

 **You:** It looks like a little robot :]]

 **Hot one:** oh my fucking god

 **Flower girl:** looks like you've lost, gay boy

 **Dorky one:** AM I ALLOWED TO LAUGH AT THAT

 **Mystery boy:** Yes

 **Hot one:** yes it was funny

 **You:** Remus and Sirius agreed on something :))!

 **Hot one:** ew

 **Mystery boy:** Fuck you

 **Flower girl:** I'm sure there's lots of things you guys would agree on

 **You:** Yeah!! How do you feel about strong people?

 **Hot one:** hot

 **Mystery boy:** They're attractive

 **You:** :D

 **Hot one:** ffs shut up

 **Dorky one:** what is going on

 **Dorky one:** am I missing out on something

 **Flower girl:** no don't worry about it dipshit

 **Dorky one:** okay :')

 **Hot one:** ok but am i missing something cause you guys are acting weird

 **You:** Nope!

_**Mystery boy is offline** _

**You:** :(( Bye Remus

 **Flower girl:** damnit you need to come back

_**Mystery boy is online** _

**Mystery boy:** Shut the fuck up Lily

 **Dorky one:** don't talk to my love like that!

 **Dorky one:** wait did you stop using periods

_**Mystery boy is offline** _

**Dorky one:** REMUS COME BACK WHY DID YOU STOP USING PERIODS

 **Dorky one:** YOU WERE SO INSISTENT ON THEM WHAT CHANGED

 **Hot one:** nothing changed he's still fucking weird

 **You:** :)

 **Flower girl:** Peter no

 **Hot one:**????

* * *

_Jan 8th, 11:43am_

**_Dorky one messaged you privately_ **

**Dorky one:** hey

 **Dorky one:** hey Pete

 **You:** Yeah? 

**Dorky one:** what's up with you Lily and Remus??

 **You:** Nothing???

 **Dorky one:** really?

 **You:** Uh huh! Nothing that I know of!

 **Dorky one:** well

 **Dorky one:** okay, good luck on the date btw, when is it?

 **You:** Oh! Tomorrow!! :)!

 **Dorky one:** awesome! let us know how it goes buddy!

 **You:** Of course!

* * *

_Jan 8th, 11:45am_

**Hot one:** i think im gonna go back to that shop tomorrow

 **Dorky one:** oooooo

 **You:** Maybe we'll be date twins!!

 **Hot one:** lmao sure pete

 **Flower girl:** I think that'd be cute, little double date

 **Flower girl:** Peter & this Mary girl and Sirius & garage boy

 **You:** Hehehe yeah!

 **Dorky one:** and us Lily!! Us too!

_**Flower girl is offline** _

**Dorky one:** okay well I'm gonna go cry now

_**Dorky one is offline** _

**You:** Should you go comfort him??

 **Hot one:** yeah probably

_**Hot one is offline** _

_**You went offline** _


	10. Sirius' POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since it's just moving the plot along it's short again but shhh it's fine this one's important anyways
> 
> Sirius' contacts:  
> James - hot stuff  
> Lily - lily  
> Peter - pete  
> Remus - creep

In short, Sirius was nervous. He wasn’t really sure what he was going to do or say. Or wear, for that matter. He didn't know why he was so nervous to try and talk to the garage guy, normally he was perfectly fine flirting with guys, no trouble, but this one seemed… different? In a good way, he hoped. If garage guy turned out to be shitty, Sirius would be very disappointed. After some deliberation, he did at least manage to settle on an outfit, nothing special, truthfully it was basically just the same thing he always wore, except he threw on a little rainbow pin to the lapel of his leather jacket. Hint hint. Maybe. Whatever, he needed to get going.

* * *

_Jan 9th, 1:22pm_

**_You are_ _online_**

**You:** im gonna go to the place today

**You:** fuckin wish me luck

_**pete is online** _

**pete:** Good luck!!!

_**hot stuff is online** _

**hot stuff:** OMFG GOOD LUUUCK HE'D BE CRAZY NOT TO SAY YES!!

_**lily is online** _

**lily:** jesus James

**lily:** good luck though, fingers crossed

**pete:** We're rooting for u!!!

**hot stuff:** I'M GONNA LOSE MY MIND

**You:** thank you james

**hot stuff:** AHHHHGFYTDRSXTFRYCUGVIBOHGUFYTDRSXEXHCVJHKIOJHYTGFRDSX

**lily:** what the fuck

**pete:** He,,, means well.

**You:** ok ignoring how weird the platonic love of my life is, i need to get going now

**pete:** GOOD LUCK!!!!! REMUS COME WISH SIRIUS GOOD LUCK!

**lily:** peter calm down

_**You went offline** _

* * *

Well, Sirius had his hype men and woman, he was going to go for it. Confidence high, the raven haired man strutted out of his flat took off on his motorbike, making sure to wave at his neighbors on the way outside. What? He was a badass but he still had mannars. Taking his bike was certainly a lot faster than walking had been, so it took far less than fifteen minutes to get there. That made Sirius think maayybe he should've walked, because he still had no idea what he was going to say and hadn't exactly given himself time to think in between home and the garage. What if the man said no to a date and rejected him? What if Sirius wasn't his type? What if he wasn't even into other guys? If he wasn't ready for a committed relationship and Sirius had to patiently sit on the sidelines and wait for him hopelessly in love as he watched his beautiful, perfect garage guy sleep around with other guys that _weren't_ Sirius because he loved Sirius but couldn't put him through the strain of an on off, sex-exclusive relationship? Okay maybe Sirius was thinking too much into it. Just a little bit.

He stood out in front of the shop pacing back and forth for nearly seven minutes, thinking through every single possible outcome. Sirius wasn't one to overthink, or think anything through at all in general, so why was he now? He hadn't even realized he was doing so until a woman, looking a smidge older than him, early thirties maybe, poked her head out of the door and called out to him.

"Sir? Sorry to bother you but are you coming inside or not?" She asked, snapping Sirius out of his trance and thoroughly embarrassing him. He gave her an awkward "Yeah, sorry" in response and hurried into the shop behind her before the door was shut on his face.

"Is uh- there was a guy that fixed my bike the other day, is he here-?" Great start, Sirius. You sound like a lost child. 

"You're the one with the black Triumph Bonneville, right? 650 T 120?"

"I- I guess? I don't really know the brand,"

"I'm gonna take that as a yes. He's not here today. Why? Was there a problem with the bike?" 

"Oh no! No definitely not! It's perfect! I just… wanted to ask him something, it's fine, I can come back-" Sirius waved his hands in dismissal and quickly started to back off towards the door again.

"Oi, slow down. What'd you wanna ask him? I can pass the message along," The woman smiled at Sirius kindly.

"I- wanted to ask him out." Okay, this was absolutely mortifying. Run, Sirius! And never come back! The woman just smiled wider and laughed as though he'd made a joke. What was so funny?

"Sorry, sorry. You're so nervous, it's cute," The woman grabbed a piece of scratch paper, took the pen that was tucked behind her ear, and began to write something that Sirius couldn't see from where he stood.

"What are you doing?"

"I think that's definitely something you should ask him yourself, then. D'you want his email?"

"Oh, shit. Yeah I- yeah. Sure." Sirius didn't know how to respond without screaming. It was just an email address, why was he so excited about an email address? Hopefully his attempt at playing it cool was decent. (It wasn't.)

"Well here, then. R.J. Lupin at gmail dot com," She said as she handed the bit of scratch paper to Sirius with the words '[ rjlupiin@gmail.com ](mailto:rjlupiin@gmail.com)' scratched onto them. 

"Thank you," he said, accepting the paper gratefully.

"No problem. I'm sure I'll hear how it goes, long as you actually go through with it!" The woman waved goodbye to Sirius as he left the shop and the very second he was out of sight he had a little celebration with himself before remembering that he was, in fact, still in public. An email. Not incredible, but definitely a start.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the email addresses for Sirius and Remus? Yeah they're real I actually made emails for this. Y'all are 100% welcome to send emails to them if you want and I can respond in character :] fun lil bonus treat as a thank you for sticking around and reading my fic
> 
> Remus - rjlupiin@gmail.com  
> Sirius - siriuslysrs@gmail.com
> 
> and just in case you can't see the image, it's a screenshot of the email sirius sent to remus that says:  
> hey!  
> i know you probably dont know who the hell i am but still gonna try this out lmao  
> you fixed my motorbike at your shop the other day and i thought you were really attractive so i went back today but you weren't there and your coworker gave me your email? so now im writing you an email and rambling just a tiiiny bit but basically the point of this is im wondering if youd wanna go on a date?  
> if not thats totally fine! just thought id give it a try  
> \- sirius aka the hot guy with the black motorbike that called you hot stuff and winked


	11. Remus' email

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a small look into how remus reacted to sirius' email

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case the images are unavailable, he just deleted the email :[


	12. Remus' phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus' contacts:  
> Brandy - Boss lady  
> Lily - Nice  
> Peter - Also nice  
> James - Simp  
> Sirius - Avoid

_Jan 9th, 2:41pm_

**_You messaged Boss lady_ _privately_**

**You:** Why the fuck did you give him my email?

 **Boss lady:** he seemed sweet dumbass, you need to put yourself out there more anyways

 **You:** Yeah but not with him.

 **You:** He's a fucking dickweed

 **Boss lady:** how so?

 **You:** You're really asking me that? He's constantly being rude as hell to me.

 **Boss lady:** Ithink that maybe you both need to talk some things out

 **You:** I don't need to talk out jack shit. 

**Boss lady:** Remus, you bottle everything up. I know you

 **Boss lady:** have you told him how he's acting is bothering you?

 **You:** Not directly but you'd think he'd get the fucking idea.

 **Boss lady:** you don't always get the idea either, mate

 **You:** This isn't fucking about me.

 **Boss lady:** yes, it is

 **You:** Whatever.

* * *

_Jan 9th, 3:10pm_

**_Simp is online_ **

**Simp:** Siriuuuuuuss how did it goooo it's been forever

_**Avoid is online** _

**Avoid:** idk :') he wasnt there but i got his email

 **Simp:** did you email him????

 **Avoid:** obviously

 **Simp:** REPLY???

 **Avoid:** not yet

_**You are online** _

**You:** Doubt you're gonna get one

 **Avoid:** how tf would you know that asshole

 **You:** Just a hunch

_**Also nice is online** _

**Also nice:** Remuuuuuss :/

 **You:** Fucking what?

**_Nice is online_ **

**Nice:** Peter's right

 **You:** About fucking w h a t? He hasn't said a goddamn thing

 **Nice:** you know what

 **You:** i swear to god.

 **Simp:** wtf is going on

_**You went offline** _

* * *

_Jan 9th, 3:38pm_

**_Also nice messaged you privately_ **

**Also nice:** Hey buddy :)

 **You:** god what the fuck is it

 **Also nice:** I wanted to see how you were doing!

 **You:** oh of course, i'm doing great. thanks for asking.

 **Also nice:** :// Do you want to talk about it? You stopped using caps ur obviously upset

 **You:** does it fucking look like i wanna talk about it?

 **Also nice:** Not really, but it does help!

 **You:** jesus

 **You:** fine

 **You:** what the fuck do you want me to talk about

 **Also nice:** What happened with the email?

 **You:** i deleted it.

 **Also nice:** Why??

 **You:** cause i can't fucking handle this

 **You:** i can't handle any of this

 **Also nice:** Elaborate???

 **You:** fucking hell peter

 **Also nice:** Sorry!

 **You:** it's fine, whatever

 **You:** i don't know how to deal with any of this

 **You:** i have like four friends and they all treat me like i'm a baby.

 **Also nice:** Well that's not great uhuh

 **You:** yeah no goddamn shit, pete. great fucking observational skills

 **You:** i'm sorry.

 **Also nice:** It's fine

 **You:** i think i'm broken

 **Also nice:** Remus ur not broken

 **You:** you don't know me peter

 **You:** none of you fucking know me

 **You:** my cousin moved some stupid action figure the last time she visited and i nearly punched her

 **Also nice:** Shit

 **You:** it just made me angry

 **Also nice:** Short temper then?

 **You:** sort of

 **Also nice:**?

 **You:** bad episode

 **Also nice:** Oh

 **Also nice:** Do you wanna talk about that?

 **You:** no

 **Also nice:** Ok, that's fine

 **Also nice:** Sirius doesn't seem like a mean guy, idk why he's rude to you

 **You:** wow, reassuring

 **Also nice:** Not finished

 **Also nice:** Would it help if I asked him what he had against you and helped you guys work it out?

 **You:** like he'd fucking cooperate

 **Also nice:** But it's worth a shot right?

 **You:** i guess

 **Also nice:** Is that a yes?

 **You:** yeah

 **Also nice:** Coolio :D

 **Also nice:** I'll let u go but if u need to talk to someone I'm here!! I'm sure Lily is too :)

 **You:** thank you

 **Also nice:** Anytime!!

_**You went offline** _

* * *

Remus John Lupin cried himself to sleep that night.


	13. Lily's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lily's contacts:  
> James - potential stalker  
> Sirius - anger issues?
> 
> fancasts:  
> James - Dev Patel

Lily Evans was, at first glance, your run of the mill girl next door. She had gotten good grades all throughout school, she was typically polite, she worked at a damn used bookstore, all that sort of jazz. It'd be a disgrace to genuinely call her the girl next door, though. Truly just a disastrous idea. Primarily because she'd bitch slap you and scold you for the stupid fucking stereotype. Was that excessive? Maybe a little, but Lily was a fiery personality. She didn't take shit, and her friends all knew that. 

Currently, Lily was on her lunch break and looking for a place to stop by and grab something. Finding herself not very hungry but incredibly tired, she wound up at a coffee shop. Local, obviously, because Lily wouldn't be caught dead at some place like St*rb*cks. No offense to them, she just preferred supporting local businesses, which was no surprise considering she herself worked at one. She'd been to this place before, but only a few times, considering it was often just easier (and cheaper) to make her own coffee before she left for work. Why not though? The shop was relatively small, pretty cozy. Some artwork was hung on the wall along with warm strings of fairy lights and vines. There was a small stage area that Lily assumed to be for things like open mic nights. As she looked around a little, Lily got in the line, one which moved fairly quickly. Thank god for that, lines were the worst. 

It didn't take long for Lily to be at the front of the line, and she was met face to face with a strikingly familiar man. A slight beard, dark brown eyes that matched the color of his unruly head of hair, round silver glasses, and-

"Holy shit, Lily?" Oh _no_.

"James?"

"Lily!" It took a lot of Lily's willpower to not facepalm and walk away from the man. Really the only thing stopping her was the fact that she wanted her coffee.

"You've got to be kidding me." James seemed a bit taken aback by the response, and even Lily had to admit that she felt a bit bad about it.

"It's funny seeing you here," For his own good, hopefully he didn't try some stupid pickup line.

"Is it really? I must have missed the memo, I'm not laughing."

"Ouch. Just as harsh in person," Despite the frankly sad nature of his words, James' expression was bright and welcoming. He had a wide, comforting smile and it was clear to Lily why he was working a job that required so much customer service. 

"Can I just order?" She may have come off more harsh than intended.

"Course you can, m'lady. What can I get for you?"

"Black cuppa coffee, no sugar. And a biscuit." 

"On it! And name?"

"You know my name, dipshit,"

"Dipshit it is!" 

"What? No! Lily, you moron,"

"I'm just messing with you, Lils. Not allowed to call customers dipshit even if they asked me to anyways," James replied with a disappointed shrug. "Sucks cause some of them deserve it,"

"Yeah, I can imagine," For some reason, that small comment made Lily chuckle. James' already large smile somehow got even wider when he realized he'd made the red haired girl laugh a little.

"I'll call you up when it's ready," With that, Lily walked over to a table by the corner and slid into the booth, resting her chin in her hand as she stared out the window. Okay, now that she'd actually talked to James face-to-face, maybe he wasn't as annoying as she thought. Honestly, he was a slight bit charming. Like she'd give him the satisfaction of knowing that though. About five minutes later, give or take (she wasn't exactly timing it,) Lily heard her name being called by the familiar voice and was greeted with that same bright smile as she walked up to the register. 

"Thank you," She started to pull out her wallet but James stopped her before she could.

"It's on me," 

"Oh- you don't have to do that,"

"No, I want to," God, that damned smile. Maybe he was more than just a bit charming.

"Well, thank you then," Lily finally smiled back at him. Her's wasn't as full as his, really just a friendly grin, but it still seemed to make James' day.

"No problem! Enjoy your black coffee, you weirdo," Annnd now she was rolling her eyes.

"Drinking black coffee doesn't make me weird," She insisted.

"Uh, yeah it does. It's so bitter. It's fine though, only a waste of perfectly good coffee beans."

"Do you want to fight on this? Really?"

"I dunno, maybe we could discuss it over dinner sometime," Well that caught Lily off guard. She struggled to collect her thoughts for a few moments longer than it should've taken, and what came out was the last thing she (and even James) expected.

"Sure. Text me the details," James stood there and watched Lily leave the shop with his mouth hanging open in shock. Lily meanwhile, did her very best to hide the fact that she was repeatedly scolding herself for accepting the date offer. This would go badly, wouldn't it?

A couple hours passed and, to Lily's surprise, not a peep from the group chat. James hadn't said anything, which made Lily worry that his offer had, in fact, just been a joke. When she was beginning to lose hope (which she still couldn't understand why she had in the first place,) there came a ding from her phone, and Lily had _never_ picked something up so fast. Sure enough, there was a notification displaying James' contact right there in bold text. Right under that contact was the address to a restaurant Lily hadn't heard of before and a time, 6:00pm. Along with the details, James had sent an image of a hedgehog with hearts around its head. Cute.

Was Lily actually going to start liking this guy? She couldn't believe it, but it was entirely possible. The fact that she was so impatient for six to come around only strengthened that possibility. Lily had gotten ready almost as soon as James texted her. She didn't know why. Maybe that was silly. It wasn't like she was super dressed up or anything, honestly she just put on what she'd wear while hanging out with any other friend, but _was_ James any other friend? 

Finally, just when Lily thought she might lose her mind, she decided it was a good time to get going, and get going she did. Somehow the drive to the restaurant felt just as long, if not longer, than the wait, but as expected she showed up right at six. James wasn't hard to spot, standing in front of the restaurant and starting at his phone, tapping his foot against the ground anxiously. It wasn't as though he or anything he was wearing looked outlandish. In fact, he looked very much normal, but he stood out to Lily for some reason. The very second the man saw Lily walking his way, his almost scared expression disappeared and immediately turned to joy. 

"You look amazing," He said, greeting Lily.

"I'm not even dressed up," 

"Doesn't change the fact that I think you're stunning," That smile again. He was a handsome guy, once Lily actually paid attention to him. James held out his arm for her to take, a cheesy, stupid smoulder adorning his face, and with an eyeroll, Lily begrudgingly accepted. Together, the pair walked into the restaurant and were quickly seated. Apparently, James had set a reservation. Lily hadn't expected that. 

There wasn't anything incredibly exceptional that happened during the date, nothing _too_ noteworthy, but it was definitely worth saying that the two would be going on another date. James had, the whole time, been far more charming than Lily had thought he'd be. Why? Because he wasn't trying. He wasn't trying to impress her, or flirt with her, he was just being himself and getting to know her as a person, not just a pretty face. Lily liked that. She liked this side of James. And James, of course, was thrilled to have this opportunity. The entire time, his behavior mimicked that of an excited puppy, and Lily found it very endearing. By the end of the night, she found herself laughing uncontrollably at some stupid joke James had made while he beemed with pride. They walked around for a little while, but James, much to his dismay, seemed to be getting tired, and the two said their goodnights. Right before parting ways, Lily pulled James down by his shirt collar and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, then quickly scurried off in the direction of wherever she'd parked as James stood there stunned in shock once more.

* * *

_Jan 10th, 9:24pm_

**_potential stalker messaged you privately_ **

**_potential stalker sent 1 attachment_ **

**__ **

* * *

_Jan 10th, 9:26pm_

**_You are online_ **

_**You sent 1 attachment** _

_**** _

**You:** can you believe he holds his fucking phone like that

_**potential stalker is online** _

**potential stalker:** and I thought we had a great time, now you're making fun of the way I hold my phone?

 **You:** I made fun of you for it during the date too

_**anger issues? is online** _

**anger issues?:** im sorry DATE????

_**You changed potential stalker's contact to james** _

_**You went offline** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't look at the photo of james too closely specifically his glasses LMAO


	14. Sirius' phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius' contacts:  
> James - hot stuff  
> Lily - lily  
> Peter - pete  
> Remus - creep

_Jan 10th, 9:48pm_

**_You are online_ **

**You:** fr? im really the only one phased by the fact that lily said d a t e ??

_**lily is online** _

_**pete is online** _

**lily:** yeah it's just you

**pete:** Pretty much!

_**hot stuff is online** _

**hot stuff:** no i'm just as surprised as you are and I was on the date

**You:** what the fuck

**You:** smh peter got a date you guys went on a date and i havent even gotten an email back

**pete:** I'm sorry :((

**You:** why are you apologising? its not like he was that great anyways

**pete:** Well still

**lily:** I'm sure Sirius'll be okay, Peter

**lily:** you should leave it be

**pete:** Fine :/

**hot stuff:** you're kinda weird sometimes peter

**hot stuff:** I like you

**pete:** :D

**You:** ok but lily and james d i d go on a date then?

**lily:** yes

**hot stuff:** yeah!

**You:** wow wtf

**You:** i need to up my game

**hot stuff:** oooo do you want me to set you up?

**You:** nah its ok

**You:** my friends girlfriends flatmate is gay apparently

**You:** ill just have marlene introduce us and i can hook up with him

**pete:** Jeez

**lily:** wow, that's not douchebaggy at all

**hot stuff:** honestly I'm gonna have to agree with Pete and Lily on this one that seems sort of shitty

**You:** its not shitty im obviously gonna get his consent first

**lily:** not everyone wants just a hookup idiot

**You:** and maybe he does

_**creep is online** _

**creep:** Marlene?

**You:** yeah why tf

**creep:** I don't know, nevermind

_**creep is offline** _

**You:** youre weird man

**lily:** you're a dick

**You:** gay guys like dicks thats the whole point

**pete:** Oop

**lily:** oh my god.

**hot stuff:** is he,, wrong?

**You:** no im not

**lily:** jesus christ james

**hot stuff:** I'm sorry! it was kind of a funny joke

**You:** it was very funny

**pete:** A little funny

**pete:** Very is an exaggeration

**You:** wow pete

**You:** youve betrayed me

**pete:** Sorry

**You:** apology not accepted

**You:** anyways i have food thats gonna go bad in like three days so i have to go finish that or i wasted it bye

_**You went offline** _

* * *

_Jan_ _11th, 8:16am_

**_pete messaged you privately_ **

**pete:** Hey! I actually need to talk to u, if ur awake

**You:** i am

**You:** what is it?

**pete:** It's about Remus??

**You:** oh god

**pete:** Just listen!

**pete:** He's a really nice guy

**You:** hes just been an arsehole

**pete:** So have you :/

**pete:** U haven't given him a single chance

**pete:** Just try to be nice?

**You:** ffs

**pete:** Please? Literally nothing bad could come from u being nicer to Remus

**You:** why do you even care

**pete:** Cause I like him and I feel bad for him

**You:** why tf do you feel bad for him

**pete:** He's having a hard time Sirius

**pete:** I don't think ur bullying helps

**You:** wdym hard time?

**pete:** It's not my place to talk about it

**pete:** If u actually care u should get to know him and talk to him urself

**You:** thats fucking stupid just tell me

**pete:** Sirius cmon

**You:** jesus fine

**You:** ill lay off a little

**You:** but if hes still a little bitch im not trying

_**You went offline** _


	15. Remus' POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> vague descriptions of depressive behavior
> 
> Remus' contacts:  
> Dorcas - Dorkass

Great. Wonderful. Brilliant. Absolutely stunning. Sirius knew a girl named Marlene. A lesbian named Marlene. Remus knew a lesbian named Marlene. Well, he sort of knew a lesbian named Marlene. Remus knew Dorcas better than he did Marlene, but he still knew her, as well as the fact that this could _not_ end well. If things didn't end up going horribly wrong, Remus would be shocked. He prayed Sirius was only kidding about asking Marlene to set him up with her girlfriend's flatmate, because if Remus was right and it was the same Marlene he knew, that meant that he was the gay flatmate. He didn't think he could handle any more run-ins with Sirius, they were getting more and more stressful. A part of Remus wished he could go back in time and just be open from the get-go, but time travel? Not possible, and things were far too much out of his control for him to admit he was garage guy _and_ gay flatmate now.

Remus didn't know what to do about it. He didn't want to bother Peter and Lily any more than he already had, so he couldn't ask them for advice, and he hadn't told any of his friends what had been going on. Actually, he hadn't even talked to his friends in a while. Just Dorcas, and only because he was sort of forced to. Huh. Maybe he should let Frank and Alice know he wasn't dead… Eh. As long as there wasn't a funeral they probably weren't worried. It wasn't uncommon for Remus to go silent for days on end anyways. In any case, Remus let himself fall face first onto his bed and had to prevent himself from screaming as loud as he possibly could. Why was the universe so intent on screwing him over? What the hell did he ever do? He couldn't have just one day of peace?

Eventually, Remus ended up just sleeping off his worries, despite just having woken up not long ago. He had the day off again, why not waste it by napping for hours upon hours? He wouldn't have ended up doing anything productive anyways. Dorcas would probably end up scolding him for it just like usual, though that was never difficult to tune out, all he had to do was plug in some earbuds and close his eyes and he was spacing out in less than three minutes. She scolded him for that too, but he wasn't exactly paying attention when she did, so it was always basically pointless. Besides, he was an adult. Dorcas was his flatmate, not his mum.

Remus woke up around five hours later, give or take, and even after he was seemingly fully aware of his surroundings, everything felt like a blur. Nothing he did really made an impact, everything was almost entirely subconscious, or felt that way at least. That is, if you can even consider sitting on your bed and staring at the wall doing anything. There were a few attempts made at reading, but all it caused was frustration and a broken cup from when he threw the book at it. Perhaps that had been an over exaggeration, but he couldn't really tell at the time. He didn't check his phone, though he could hear the dinging of notifications. Probably that stupid groupchat, he didn't get notifications from anything except that, so what else could it be? Honestly, Remus didn't even leave his room for anything other than the toilet and grabbing a bag of chips or something, and it continued that way for nearly a week, maybe longer. He wasn't keeping track. Dorcas came in to check on him every now and then and he only got annoyed over it, having to keep himself from yelling at her to just leave him alone. 

It wasn't uncommon for Remus to lock himself in his room like this. Burrowing, his friends called it. Really it was just a depression swamp, but burrowing, sure. It made him sound like a cute little rabbit, something he very much was not. The state of his room didn't do much to reflect the seemingly endearing nickname of his burrow either. Empty mugs covered nearly every available surface, and whether they had contained tea, coffee, or alcohol was unclear. Probably all three. There were clothes strewn all about the floor, along with some… used tissues, who's specific use we don't need to get into any more than that. The curtains were always closed and the lights almost always off, and it _smelled._ The place was a damn mess. If he weren't so out of it, Remus would have been shocked that Dorcas hadn't kicked him to the curb yet. Maybe she pitied him. She probably did. That was the only way Remus ever got anything; pity. He fucking hated it.

Give it a few more hours, and Remus had finally decided to give in and check his phone. Just as he’d suspected, a lot of notifications from the group chat. He didn’t check any of them, just dismissed it as quickly as he could. Instead, he checked the message that Dorcas had sent him a couple minutes earlier.

* * *

_Jan 19th, 4:07pm_

**_Dorkass messaged you privately_ **

**Dorkass:** Hey rem, just wanted to check in and make sure you remember marlene is coming over tomorrow! You don't have to, but it'd be super nice if you could try to clean yourself up a little bit before then

 **Dorkass:** That doesn't mean axe body spray the shit out of everything that means take a shower!

 **Dorkass:** I hope you're feeling a little better, I'll be home soon!

 **You:** ok

 **Dorkass:** Mwah mwah mwah! luv u!!

 **You:** <3

_**You went offline** _

* * *

Awesome. Now Remus was being expected to clean up. She hadn’t said his room, so he’d leave that alone. Truth be told, he was a little scared to start tidying it up, there was so much junk piled on his floor there might as well have been a family of rats living in it. He supposed he was out of his slump enough to take a shower, though. Yeah, he could manage that. The lanky man dragged himself out of bed unbelievably slowly and to the bathroom, grabbing a raggedy old band shirt off his dresser on the way there. The bathroom lights were bright, and for someone who’d done nothing but sit in his dark room for days, near blinding. They made his head spin and pound, and it was times like these he wished they had dimmable lights in the cheap flat. Instead, Remus opted to just keep the light off. It wasn’t ideal, but it was certainly better than his head splitting in two like a watermelon. Before he’d turned off the lights, though, Remus caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. A reflection that showed but a shell of a human being. God, he looked worse than he’d thought. 

Quickly turning away from the mirror and switching off the lights, Remus undressed, tossing the clothes he wouldn’t be putting back on into the hamper as he turned on the water. Foolishly, he’d stepped into the shower before it had warmed up, and was now stuck standing there naked and shivering as freezing water poured onto his head. That was just his luck. Even with the incredible discomfort, Remus sat (or more so stood) through it and at long last had warm water. He was never a fan of showers or baths. They took too much effort. Remus knew how disgusting that made him sound, but he barely had the energy to go from room to room in his flat, much less scrub every crevice of his body with like five different soaps. No no no, Remus used hand soap and hand soap only. Soap is soap. He didn’t care. It only took like five minutes to wash his hair, tops, so with that being said, his shower should have only taken around seven (though that’s up for debate.) Alas, it took far longer than seven minutes. Two hours longer, to be exact. As Remus finally shook himself out of his empty trance, he heard someone enter the flat and assumed it to be Dorcas, correctly so. With a sigh, he shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel tightly around his waist and peeking out of the door quickly to call “Hi Dorcas,” to his flatmate, earning him an eager “Hello!” back. Remus pulled his shirt over his head, put on a pair of boxers, and left the bathroom, not even bothering to fully dry himself off. 

“Jesus Remus, you’re dripping everywhere,” Dorcas commented as he made his way into their kitchen.

“‘S just water,” he replied, his voice scratchier than normal, likely because he hadn’t said a word to anyone for quite a while now.

“Fine, okay. You hungry, love?” Remus nodded. He hadn’t been eating even close to as much as he normally would, which, to be fair, wasn’t hard. On a good day, he ate a _lot_. He just hadn’t been having good days, so of course he was hungry. “I can order some takeaway, chinese?” He nodded again. “The usual?” A third nod. The taller of the two walked closer to where his friend was standing and planted a (note: platonic) kiss on the top of her head.

“Thank you for putting up with me. And ordering food. Everything, really-”

“It’s no problem, Rem. I’m always happy to help,” She replied, turning around to smile up at him.

Remus didn’t deserve friends as good as Dorcas, did he?


	16. Dorcas' phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dorcas' contacts:  
> Marlene - loveybug  
> Alice - wonderland  
> Frank - "straight"  
> Remus - rem

_Jan 19th, 1:55pm_

_**"straight" is online** _

**"straight":** Dorcas :)

_**You are online** _

**You:** no, he hasn't left his room

 **"straight":** Shoot, really?

 **"straight":** It's been 8 days are you sure he's not dead?

 **You:** I'm like 60% sure

_**wonderland is online** _

**wonderland:** dorcas !!

 **You:** I'm kidding! I'm sure he's fine

 **wonderland:** you don't know??

 **You:** well I'm not home rn

 **"straight":** You left him home alone???

 **You:** I trust him

 **You:** you guys don't?

 **wonderland:** we want to! but the last time we trusted him to be on his own didn't really end well

 **"straight":** He fell off the fridge

 **You:** I'm sorry what

 **"straight":** He got stuck on top of the fridge

 **"straight":** That's how he broke his arm a few years ago, you really never heard that?

 **You:** no wtf? 

**You:** why was he on top of the fridge in the first place?

 **wonderland:** oh we have no idea

 **wonderland:** I love Remus but I have no idea how you live with him. he only stayed with us for two months

 **You:** it's definitely a test of patience

 **You:** but then again so is marlene and I'm dating her

 **"straight":** Oh that's right! How's that going?

 **You:** really well, thanks for asking!

 **"straight":** That's good to hear!

 **wonderland:** any plans with her soon?

 **You:** yeah actually she's coming over tomorrow!

 **You:** she said she was going to bring her friend, hopefully he and remus get along

 **wonderland:** oh my god are you two trying to set up Remus

 **You:** no! but if they did happen to like each other that much I mean I don't think we'd complain

 **"straight":** Yeah they're setting him up

 **wonderland:** are you sure that's a good idea?

 **You:** we really aren't trying to set them up

 **You:** I just really want him to put himself out there more and he can't do that if he's being handled like a fragile baby

 **wonderland:** I guess you're not wrong

 **wonderland:** promise you're not gonna force him into anything he's uncomfortable with

 **You:** he's not going to get anywhere if he stays in his comfort zone the entire time

 **You:** but if he's genuinely really distraught of course I'm not going to make him do anything

 **"straight":** Keep us updated?

 **You:** obviously

 **You:** you two might as well be his parents at this point

 **"straight":** Lyall Lupin scares me

 **wonderland:** dorcas please I can't live up to even hope's bad days

 **You:** ha ha, guys

 **You:** honestly though you two would be cute parents

 **"straight":** We've been thinking about it

 **You:** really? that's awesome

 **wonderland:** we haven't made any decisions! it's just an idea

 **You:** if you want my take, it's a good idea. maybe wait a few years, you're not even married yet, but definitely a good idea, you guys would be great parents

 **wonderland:** thank you dorcas ( ◜‿◝ )♡

_**"straight" went offline** _

**You:** of course

 **You:** frank buddy you okay?

 **wonderland:** he's crying

 **wonderland:** he says thank you

 **You:** aww, frank you big baby

 **wonderland:** I think this is my cue to head off lmao, kisses!

 **You:** buh bye!! mwah!

_**wonderland went offline** _

* * *

_Jan 19th, 3:46pm_

**_loveybug messaged you privately_ **

**loveybug:** heyyyy

 **You:** hi!

 **loveybug:** hru?

 **You:** I'm alright! what about you?

 **loveybug:** i'm good <3

 **loveybug:** remus knows i'm coming over tomorrow?

 **You:** I told him this morning but knowing him he's probably forgotten, I'll remind him

 **loveybug:** should i be offended he has the nerve to forget me?

 **You:** oh, no! he's got a lot on his mind, don't look much into it!

 **loveybug:** i'm just kidding hun

 **loveybug:** i know he's forgetful

 **loveybug:** and i know you're dramatic

 **You:** I'm not dramatic I just wanna make sure everyone's happy

 **loveybug:** and it's adorable

 **You:** <3 <3 <3

 **loveybug:** <3 give me a minute, sirius is calling me

 **You:** he's the friend you wanted Remus to meet, yeah?

 **loveybug:** that he is

_**loveybug is offline** _

* * *

_Jan 19th, 4:07pm_

**_You messaged rem privately_ **

**You:** Hey rem, just wanted to check in and make sure you remember marlene is coming over tomorrow! You don't have to, but it'd be super nice if you could try to clean yourself up a little bit before then

 **You:** That doesn't mean axe body spray the shit out of everything that means take a shower!

 **You:** I hope you're feeling a little better, I'll be home soon!

 **rem:** ok

 **You:** Mwah mwah mwah! luv u!!

 **rem:** <3

_**rem went offline** _

* * *

_Jan 19th, 4:10pm_

**_You messaged loveybug privately_ **

**You:** reminded him! hopefully he takes a shower

 **loveybug:** he won't -3-

 **You:** he might!

 **loveybug:** every time i've seen him in person the guy's poor hair looks like someone dumped a bucket of oil on it

 **You:** oh come on :/

 **loveybug:** sorry hun

 **loveybug:** i promise i won't tease him anymore

 **You:** thank you

 **loveybug:** you're welcome, ily

 **You:** ilyt! 

_**You went offline** _


	17. Sirius' POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry this took me so long bhhdhfdg i turned into remus for a hot sec and just went into my burrow but im out! at least for now! sorry again! 
> 
> cw:  
> very brief and offhand comment about abuse, still not a good judge of what needs a cw warning or not but it's literally like one sentence

Maybe the hookup joke really was too douchey. That's all it had been, a joke, but clearly Sirius hadn't thought it through as much as Lily, Peter, and James. Lord, he'd made the joke over a week ago, why was he still thinking about it anyways? It was fine. It didn't matter. But it did make him wonder, was he really an arsehole? He'd known he wasn't the nicest, but he didn't think it was too bad. Now with those three telling him off even slightly and Peter telling him to be nicer to Remus, he wasn't so sure. Speaking of Remus, the guy hadn't said a single word in, again, over a week. Since he'd made the joke, actually. Had he made Remus _that_ uncomfortable that he'd felt the need to just disappear? Obviously Sirius wasn't Remus' biggest fan, but that didn't mean he wanted to make him uncomfortable. Although looking back on his interactions with the other boy, that might have been just what he'd done. Of course Sirius fucked something up, no surprise there. It didn't really matter though, right? He felt a little bad, but it wasn't like there'd be any big consequences from being a little shitty. He'd forget about the whole ordeal in a few weeks. Remus probably would too, especially if he didn't even bother to check the group chat like he had been for the past week. Really, they'd gotten nothing but complete radio silence from the weirdo. Not that Sirius even cared. With how much he was thinking about it, though… well, you’d start to assume that maybe he did.

Much to his dismay, a small "ding!" noise coming from his phone shook Sirius out of his pondering.

* * *

_Jan 19th, 11:02am_

**_marls messaged you privately_ **

**marls:** you still wanna meet dorcas right

**You:** fucking obviously i cant believe i still havent met your gf

**You:** you sure i wont be intruding?

**marls:** of course not! she wants to meet my sexy friend

**You:** you flatter me marlene

**marls:** please, you say that like you aren't constantly starting in the mirror and calling yourself a hottie

**You:** do you want me to lie?

**marls:** omfg shut up you're annoying

**marls:** anyways do you want me to pick you up tomorrow or should i just send you the address?

**You:** just send me those deets babygirl

**marls:** you're the worst maybe you shouldn't meet dorcas in person

**marls:** whatever just hang out with her flatmate the whole time, scare him away instead of her

**You:** very considerate marls

**marls:** well hey if he moved out dorcas and me would get more ~alone time~

**You:** ew fuck off

**marls:** please bitch you're so open about your sex life

**You:** what can i say im a hypocrite

**marls:** clearly

**You:** what should i wear

**marls:** doesn't matter

**You:** what? come on you have to give me something to work with

**marls:** no i don't

**You:** marlene please

**marls:** have fun, ken! ;)

**You:** is that a fucking barbie reference i don't even look like ken

**_marls is offline_ **

* * *

Sirius waited nearly five hours more of fretting over every possible outcome of the very small and frankly insignificant meetup. He truly had no idea why he was making such a big fuss out of it, but on the fifth hour he caved and called Marlene, his brows knitted together with frustration.

“What is it?” Marlene’s voice came through the line, somehow both coarse and smooth as honey at the same time. He’d say it was hypnotizing if he weren’t such a homo. 

“You’re sure it doesn’t matter what I wear?”

“Jesus fucking christ, Sirius. No, it doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?”

“Cause we’re literally just going to Dorcas’ flat for a while.” She sounded clearly annoyed, but Sirius couldn’t help but overthink the situation that would occur tomorrow.

“I don’t know her flatmate though!”

“Dude. He’s literally a walking disaster. I swear I’ve seen him wear the exact same outfit for a week straight, might’ve been longer. It wasn’t even a nice outfit, he dresses like a grandpa!” That calmed Sirius’ nerves a bit and even earned a small chuckle. “Does that make it easier?”

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks.”

“Great. You look hot in whatever you wear anyways, I don’t know why you exaggerate everything so much.”

“You’re rolling your eyes, aren’t you?” There was a moment of silence.

“Possibly.”

“Wow, thanks. Love you too, babes.” The pair continued on for a few more minutes before Sirius had to go. Really, he just wanted to deliberate more over what the hell he was going to wear. So they said goodbye, see you tomorrow, whatever, and Sirius did just that, laying out at least half of his closet and putting things together. He didn’t really know why he cared so much about what to wear either, but a strong hunch was that his wardrobe was something he could control. His hair was something he could control too, and that’s why he obsessed over it so much. He’d grown up in such a horrible, nightmarish household, his parents trying to control his every move, that his hair and clothes had become the one thing he could choose. Even then, he’d always gotten a large load of shit for them, along with a notable amount of beatings. 

Sirius didn’t have good parents. They’d ruined him so much. His temper was short and his ability to trust was… questionable. That was probably why he gave Remus such an awful time. If someone showed aggression towards him, he shot back with a completely unreasonable amount of aggression and would not let up. Because of that particular antic, he’d been punched more times than he could count. It was definitely something he needed to work on improving. Whatever the case was, Sirius was damaged goods. He acted high and mighty, he strutted around like the pretty boy he was, but he was just as broken as anyone else, if not more. He just hoped that a nice outfit and soft hair would hide that.

As hours passed, the waiting game ensued until at long last it was the 20th. Sure enough, Marlene sent him the address around twelve and the very second he got it, he grabbed his keys, rushed outside, and hopped on his bike. What’s that about getting dressed? Oh, don’t worry. He had been ready since six in the morning. To no surprise, he got there  _ fast _ and immediately began considering if he should have played it cool and been a little late. No, that would have been rude, right? God, whatever. He was here now, so there was no reason to turn back.

Marlene noticed him pull up and waved him over so the two could walk up together. Number thirteen. Sirius had sort of spaced out on the walk upstairs, so the time it took to get there was far less than he had anticipated. He’d also anticipated that they would knock, but alas it seemed Marlene had a key, because she simply unlocked the door and barged right in, announcing herself with a loud “Honey! I’m home!”

She, of course, was greeted with a ball of dark, frizzy hair leaping at her and planting quick kisses all over her face. Those two were so sappy, it made Sirius want to vomit sometimes. Dorcas let go of her girlfriend and looked at Sirius with a wide smile before holding out her hand.

“We haven’t ever actually met, have we?” She said in a warm tone as Sirius took her hand and shook it firmly.

“No, we haven’t.”

“Well, Sirius. It’s a pleasure to have you here!”

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” He smiled back at her. She was certainly a sweet person, he’d give her that.

“Where’s the giraffe?” Marlene piped up, looking around for something.

“The giraffe?” Sirius questioned.

“In his room, where do you think?”

“Course he is. C’mon Sirius,” Marlene started off and Sirius followed her, assuming that was what he was supposed to do.

“Oh, Marlene, wait! Maybe we should just give him a minu-” Dorcas was cut off by Marlene opening one of the doors, and she and Sirius were greeted by a very dark room and a man, looking about their age, lying on the floor. It took a second for Sirius to notice, but it was quickly realized that the man lying on the floor looking like he’d had the life sucked out of him was the garage guy.

“Oi, Remus you big oaf, get up!” Marlene shouted.

Wait… _Remus_?


	18. Sirius' POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> faceclaims:  
> James - Dev Patel

Remus…

It had to be a coincidence, right? There was no way it could be the same guy. On the other hand though, Remus wasn't exactly a common name. Could this really be the Remus from the group chat? The one that- oh god, what if it was him? Sirius had been so rude and now he was in his flat. His _room_. He needed to leave, but he couldn't. He just stood there, frozen. 

"I said get up!" Marlene made her way over to the man, kneeling next to him and hitting his side gently. "C'mon dipshit, you can't stay in here forever. 'Specially when you've got guests."

"I already know you," a low, gravelly voice came from his mouth, much lower and scratchy than the last time Sirius had heard it.

"You don't know Sirius, though." Remus' head shot up, followed by his body, and soon he was sitting up, staring at Sirius as he continued to stand in the doorway. The raven haired man watched as a look of horror spread across Remus' face. Well fuck.

"Rem? Are you okay?" Dorcas asked as she appeared behind Sirius. Remus stayed still, looking like a deer in the headlights.

"Hey-" Sirius started to speak after a few too many seconds of silence.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Remus cut him off, his tone threatening and striking a fear in Sirius.

"Get off your high fucking horse." There was that knee jerk reaction again.

" _My_ high horse? Excuse you, you're in _my_ flat!" 

"Dorcas' flat."

"Fuck off!" 

"Heyy boys, what's going on?" Dorcas asked, sharing a look of concern with her girlfriend.

"He's done nothing but be a fucking dick to me!" Remus yelled.

"Not like you haven't been one back!" 

"I haven't!"

"Yes you fucking have! You didn't even tell me you were the guy at the garage!" That seemed to make Remus even more mad, seeing as he was now standing. 

"Why the hell would I tell you that?"

"Oh gee, I don't know. Maybe cause I tried to ask you out, just a hunch!" Sirius crossed his arms and his eyes shot daggers at the taller man.

"What the fuck-" Marlene mumbled as the two girls watched the scene play out.

"Should we step in?" Dorcas asked her quietly.

"Give it a minute, I wanna see what happens-"

"Ohohomy god! You think _that_ entitles you to every little detail about my person?"

"Not every little detail, you cunt! But I think that was a reasonable thing to want to know!" Remus' brows somehow furrowed even more than they already had been, and in a split second that none of the four people in the room (not even Remus) could've anticipated, Remus had punched Sirius.

"Remus!" Dorcas exclaimed as Marlene rushed over to her friend. The brunette didn't say anything, he simply stood there staring at Sirius with a look of regret plastered all over his thin face. Before Sirius could say anything else, Marlene had hurried him out of the room and into the bathroom to clean up the blood that had already begun dripping from his nose.

"You kinda deserved that," Marlene said after a minute or so.

"I know." 

"Why'd you act like that? I know Remus is frustrating sometimes, but he's not gonna calm down if you're yelling back at him." 

"I'm not perfect either, Marlene. Lay off." Sirius frowned, replaying the interaction in his head over and over again. She was right, of course. He should've taken the high road.

"How do you two know each other anyways?"

"Group chat. Some guy named James added a few random numbers and he was one of them, apparently." 

"I have a feeling I'm gonna get bored hearing you explain it, so we're leaving it at that." Marlene leaned against the bathroom wall, tapping her foot against the tiled floor rhythmically. "You both have to apologize, you know."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Another beat. "Remus is… complicated. I don't know him as well as Dorcas, but he's different. He doesn't have great control over his emotions." 

"Neither do I,"

"Great, something you two can bond over." Sirius chuckled a little at that. 

"You think?"

"Uh huh."

"I don't want to be a dick to him, you know."

"Then why are you?" He had to think about that for a moment.

"I don't know, I can't help it, it's just back and forth." Sirius sighed.

"You know you have to stop it, right? You're not getting anything out of continuing the cycle."

"Yeah, yeah. You don't have to lecture me." Marlene raised an eyebrow at him.

"Kinda seems like I do, mate."

"Whatever. I'll apologize for being rude when he apologizes for punching me." Marlene rolled her eyes and threw away the bloody tissues that littered the sink counter before ruffling Sirius' hair and leaving him sitting alone in the bathroom, lost in his thoughts.

The first thing that popped into his head was "I fucked up." The second was "why am I blaming myself? He's the one that punched me" but that was quickly dismissed when he considered how much he egged Remus on, both in the moment and previously. Sirius wasn't sure when the last time he'd felt this conflicted was. He didn't hate Remus or anything, he never really had, he just… felt uncomfortable. He had a hard time trusting people that weren't straightforward, so of course that was going to be inevitable. He hadn't anticipated Remus being rude in return though, and that only fueled Sirius' aggression.

He felt bad. He got punched a lot, but it was usually by random people he'd pissed off on the street. He knew little to nothing about Remus, but there was still guilt creeping up behind him and wrapping its cold hands around his throat. He had probably deserved to be punched. He'd called Remus a weirdo and creep relentlessly, accusing him of god knows what. He never gave the poor guy a chance and he felt so bad about it, especially after actually seeing him. Remus had looked awful. Still pretty, but he looked tired. Exhausted, really. The best Sirius could describe him was a sickly Victorian boy. Man. Whatever. The point was that he looked as though he were on the verge of death and despite the, let's say uncomfortable, situation, Sirius couldn't help but feel pity for him.

But that's what he was supposed to feel, right? He was supposed to have empathy. It felt inconvenient and unreasonable, but it was very prominently still there. From what he'd noticed, Remus' room looked like a hurricane had passed through it and he didn't look much better. Sirius didn't ever have that problem exactly, he was a neat freak that obsessed over his appearance, but he could understand the feeling. He could tell Remus wasn't doing well, he didn't need Marlene to scold him about it. Sirius made a promise as he sat there in silence. He'd be nicer. Even if Remus was rude, even if he yelled, Sirius would keep his cool. It was something he'd needed to work on for a long time now, he might as well, right? Peter said Remus was actually pretty nice, maybe if Sirius looked for some sort of olive branch to extend they'd be able to have at least a civil relationship. There was still that stubborn bit of Sirius that refused to apologize first, though.

* * *

_Jan 20th, 12:36pm_

_**You messaged hot stuff privately** _

**You:** dude i fucked up

 **hot stuff:** ???? what happened?

 **You:** u remember how my friend's girlfriend has a gay flatmate

 **hot stuff:** yeah?

 **You:** gay flatmate is garage guy

 **hot stuff:** REALLY??

 **You:** garage guy is remus

 **hot stuff:** i'm sorry WHAT

 **You:** garage guy

 **You:** is remus

 **hot stuff:** remus remus? our remus?

 **You** : yes

 **hot stuff:** holy shit, small world

 **You:** yeah anyways the problem is that im at remus' flat in his bathroom with a bloody nose

 **hot stuff:** are you okay??? what happened??

 **You:** he punched me

 **hot stuff:** …

 **hot stuff:** babes… I'm so sorry but I can't really blame him you were pretty mean

 **You:** yeah i noticed

 **hot stuff:** hooray for self awareness?

 **You:** hooray

 **You:** but fr wtf do i do

 **hot stuff:** apologize for the shit you said and hope he apologizes too?

 **You:** im not apologizing first

 **hot stuff:** why not?

 **You:** idk dignity?

 **hot stuff:** he already punched you :/ how much dignity is left

 **You:** wow fuck you

 **hot stuff:** sorry mate

 **hot stuff:** but honestly, you need to be the bigger man and suck it up

 **hot stuff:** you were being mean to him from the start

 **You:** i knoooowww

 **hot stuff:** sirius

 **hot stuff:** take a look at my boob shirt and be a man

_**hot stuff sent 1 attachment** _

**You:** why do you have that and why am i motivated by it

 **hot stuff:** magic

**_hot stuff is offline_**

**_  
_**

* * *

_Jan 20th, 12:42pm_

**_hot stuff messaged you privately  
_ **

**hot stuff:** OH MY GOD YOU ASKED REMUS OUT


	19. Remus' POV

Lupin didn't know what he was feeling. Empty wasn't the right word, because there was definitely  _ something _ . Maybe he was just hungry or tired. Maybe he needed to let out the many emotions he'd been relentlessly repressing. Who's to say. Whatever it was, Remus was lying on the floor of his room in complete darkness aside from subtle sunbeams leaking through the curtains. The only sound was his breathing. In, out. In, out. In, out. He assumed he should probably get up soon, but he’d actually gotten sort of comfortable on the floor, believe it or not. Just a little while longer.

As it would turn out, “a little while longer” was around thirty more minutes. Remus was snapped out of his trance by the sound of voices in the other room, which then proceeded to head down the hallway and, lo and behold, in front of his doorway, which was thrown wide open a mere second later. In marched Marlene, announcing her already obvious presence with a loud exclamation of “Oi, Remus you big oaf, get up!” She never was very gentle with things, was she? When he gave no acknowledgement of her, she called at him again. Remus just barely opened his eyes to see her bright blue eyes peering down at him. To no surprise, she scolded him about staying in all day, so the interaction was really nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn’t until Marlene mentioned a name he knew all too well that Remus jolted up and finally looked around. Sure enough, Sirius stood in the doorway. The two young men stared at each other, each with a look of disbelief. Remus’ disbelief, however, morphed to fear when he realized Sirius now knew him as Remus instead of garage guy. 

“Rem? Are you alright?” Dorcas. Why hadn’t she bothered to let Remus know who Marlene’s friend was? Why hadn’t  _ he _ thought to ask her? God fucking damnit. He couldn’t even bring himself to move, he just kept staring at Sirius, his mind racing so quickly that he couldn’t manage to take hold of even a single thought. He couldn’t comprehend anything, not even after he’d stood up. He just knew he was mad. He knew he was yelling, now. Sirius was yelling back, and then he punched him. 

“Remus!” He heard Dorcas yell, but the sound was muffled by the high pitched, almost unbearable hum ricocheting through his head. Why did he punch Sirius? He was mad, sure, but he didn’t want to hurt the guy. He wasn’t a violent person, it was rare he ever wanted to hurt anyone, so  _ why  _ had he punched Sirius? Well, one thing was sure. Remus already regretted it. He watched Marlene usher Sirius off to the bathroom, blood trickling steadily from his nose.

“I didn’t mean to punch him-” Remus muttered, his gaze shifting from the now empty doorway to his floor. He felt Dorcas’ hand on his arm as she guided him to his bed and sat him down before taking the spot next to him.

“What else could you have meant to do?” She asked. Remus didn’t answer, he just hid his face in his hands. “Talk to me, Rem. What was that about?” There were already tears forming in the corners of his eyes, threatening to start pouring down at any second. 

“He’s a fucking arsehole.” Remus replied after a few seconds, voice shaking and bottom lip trembling.

“How do you know each other?” Dorcas had begun to rub Remus’ back, something she’d learned from much trial and error helped to calm him down. 

“Some stupid fucking group chat, dunno why I’m still even in it,”

“You think you two could work this out? What did he do?”

“He’s just a dick! He’s been a dick the whole time! I never did shit to him and he’s a dick nonethe-fucking-less!” And finally, the gate Remus had been keeping stable was torn down and tears began streaming down his reddening cheeks relentlessly, making him have to blink over and over again so they would stop blurring his vision. Dorcas didn’t say anything more for a few minutes, opting to only continue rubbing his back (occasionally switching to gently detangle his unruly hair.) After what felt like an eternity, the tears ceased and Dorcas spoke again.

“Feeling any better?” She asked softly, peeking at Remus’ flushed face through his thin fingers. Her deep brown eyes held a certain kindness that had always reassured Remus everything would be alright with her around. Dorcas was a good friend, far better than Remus could even begin to ask for. Frank and Alice as well, though as much as he loved them, Dorcas was much easier to talk to. To be vulnerable around. 

“A little,” Remus sniffled, moving his hands to wipe the snot dripping from his nose. He hated his nose. At least it wasn’t bleeding though, sorry Sirius.

“Yeah, crying it out helps.” He nodded slowly. “Do you want me to ask Sirius and Marlene to leave?” He shook his head this time.

“I should apologize-” The brunette man sighed, rubbing his temples and standing up as though it took far more effort than it should have. Dorcas gave him a small smile and stood up.

“I’ll give you a minute, then.” With that, Dorcas left the room, seemingly heading to speak with Marlene and Sirius next. Remus was left alone with his thoughts, his fan droning on in the corner and blowing his hair across his forehead. Before he’d realized, it had already been almost five minutes, and he supposed he should get going with it. Despite his reluctance, Remus pulled himself up, stopping to look in the mirror briefly. He looked like shit, but what could you expect when you do nothing but sleep all day? Well, whatever. Just keep walking. Keep walking. Walk, annnd stop. Stop right before he stepped into the bathroom doorway. He hadn’t really meant to, he just… froze up. Sirius was in there. Remus didn’t want to talk to him, he was fucking terrified of what the other man would say. Would he insult him? Probably, but somehow the possibility that he wouldn’t say anything though was worse. Oh, so much worse. The look of disapproval, the awkward silence, ugh. He stayed right where he was for far longer than he should’ve, and it wasn’t until a head of long, curly dark hair peeked out the door. 

“Oi, you coming in or not? I can hear you hyperventilating.” Sirius deadpanned, looking the other up and down with an eyebrow raised.

“I- I’m not-”

“Not hyperventilating? You kinda are.” Remus glared at Sirius before resigning and walking into the bathroom.

“So…”

“So? Fuck’s sake.”

“Shut up, arsehole. Let me fucking talk,” Remus snapped, his frustration already starting to build up.

“Fine, fine. Jesus.”

“I’m-” The taller of the two sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry. For punching you, not yelling. The yelling was warranted.”

“I can’t really argue with that. Honestly, the punch was kind of understandable too. It wasn’t enjoyable in the slightest, but y’know. Still understandable.” Sirius shrugged. There was a moment of silence between them, just as awkward as Remus had expected. “I’m sorry for being such a bitch before.”

“You? Sorry?”

“Yeah, shocking right?” Both boys couldn’t help but chuckle a little after that, but there was another pause immediately after.

“Why  _ were _ you such a bitch? What did I even do?” Sirius looked at the floor, a frown adorning his face.

“I… overthink. A lot of things. I jump to conclusions, it was never really your fault. Me and strangers almost never have a good outcome.”

“No fucking shit.” Remus rolled his eyes, but still, he let Sirius finish.

“Shut up, idiot. It’s just… really complicated. I’m sorry. Again. You don’t have to forgive me if you aren’t comfortable with it, I get it.”

“You’re making it hard not to forgive you, you fucking pity party.”

“Wow, subtle much?”

“Not at all.”

“I know, it was sarcasm.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell.” Sirius smiled as Remus replied and shockingly, Remus smiled back.

“Whatever, weirdo.”

“In all seriousness though-”

“ _ Sirius _ -ness?”

“Oh my god, shut the hell up.” The raven haired boy let out a bark of laughter and Remus hated how the laugh made him smile. “Are you done? Great. You seem… I don’t know, Nicer? Nicer in person, but fuck, man. You were really shitty.”

“I know I was. Do you think there’s something I could do? Like, to make it up to you? I feel awful about it.”

“Well I already punched you, I think I’m required to give you a little leeway ‘cause of that.”

“Eh, just a little bit.”

“Your enthusiasm is overwhelming, Sirius.”

“You really are a fucking dork, huh?” Remus snorted.

“Sort of, sorry.”

“No no, I like it.” Why did Sirius’ smile have to be so charming?

“Don’t try to butter me up, arsehole.”

“Who said I was trying to butter you up? I’m just being honest here, mate.”

“Jesus, you have  _ way  _ too much confidence.”

“I’m well aware.” There was a third pause, though it was slightly less awkward this time (thank god.) “So what can I do? D’you like coffee? I could take you for a cuppa, we can talk more there. It’d probably be better than your bathroom.”

“Aaaannnd now you’re trying to ask me on a date again.”

“I’m not!” Sirius was quick to deny it. “I just want to make it up to you!”

“I’m messing with you, moron.”

“Oh… right.” Okay, so this fourth pause was worse. “Shit, you really got that email, didn’t you?” Remus nodded. “Well that’s embarrassing. You didn’t even say no, you just ignored it.”

“I deleted it, actually-”

“Oh my god, that’s so much worse-” A horrified expression spread over Sirius’ now bright red face as he hid it in his hands.

“It’s fine, mate. It’s not a big deal, we can just forget it.” Sirius nodded and Remus cleared his throat. “A cuppa sounds nice. The pub sounds nicer."

“Why not both? It’s early, and if you get sick of me you can drink the pain away and punch me again.”

“Just don’t continuously insult me and it should be alright.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”


	20. James' Phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James' contacts:  
> Peter - pocket pete  
> Lily - loml  
> Sirius - hubby <3  
> Remus - remmio
> 
> faceclaims:  
> Lily - Karen Gillan  
> Remus - Matthew Hitt

_Jan 19th, 4:09pm_

**_You are online_ **

**You:** hello sexies

_**pocket pete is online** _

**pocket pete:** Hi !!

_**loml is online** _

**loml:** never greet us like that again

**You:** yeah ok haha

**pocket pete:** I liked it :(

**You:** Peter liked it that means it's cool, Lily

**pocket pete:** :))

**loml:** omfg

**You:** wait ahahsha look at these photos of Lily

_**You sent 2 attachments** _

_**** _

_**** _

**loml:** JAMES

**pocket pete:** W ha t is she doing

**You:** her lil dancey dance B)

**loml:** James I TRUSTED you

**You:** I'M SORRY

**pocket pete:** He's definitely not

**loml:** yeah he's not

**You:** damn :( tough crowd

**pocket pete:** very tough ! :D

**loml:** uh huh, super

**You:** shit I gtg i have to do an extra shift

_**You went offline** _

_Jan 19th, 7:35pm_

**_You are online_ **

**You:** hello

_**loml is online** _

**loml:** don't do it

**You:** sexies

**loml:** you bastard

**You:** :)

_**hubby <3 is online** _

**hubby <3: **you guys aren't gonna fucking believe this

**_pocket pete is online_ **

**pocket pete:** Ooooo gossip?

**You:** i'm listening

**hubby <3: **ok i got permission to send this

**You:** ARE YOU ON A DATE

**You:** BABE ARE YOU ON A DATE HE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL

**hubby <3: **oh my god no

**hubby <3: **its remus

**hubby <3: **im taking him out for an apology drink dont mind marlenes hand

**_remmio is online_ **

**remmio:** You still fucking suck

**You:** REMUS UR A HOTTIE

**pocket pete:**!!!

**hubby <3: **yes your feelings towards me are very clear remus you decked me right in my beautiful face

**loml:** first of all, Remus you're very pretty. second, what the fuck. third, Mckinnon? blonde bimbo badass?

**You:** REMUS YOU PUNCHED SIRIUS?

**pocket pete:** Woah wth

**remmio:** How does Marlene know fucking everyone?

**hubby <3: **shes a sexy bastard

**hubby <3: **she gets around im honestly not surprised

**remmio:** Sirius get off your phone Dorcas just fell on her arse and it's hilarious

_**remmio is offline** _

**hubby <3: **oh shit bye guys

_**hubby <3 is offline** _

**pocket pete:** Ten pounds says they kiss

**loml:** Peter don't bet on their relationship

**pocket pete:**....

**loml:** okay fine

**loml:** twenty says they'll chicken out

**You:** hey you two, uh, wtf

**pocket pete:** :)

**loml:** sorry mate, but money is money

**You:** wow

**pocket pete:** Ok James you have to keep me updated because I'm going to bed and Lily will lie to me so she can win

**You:** will do buddy don't worry

**pocket pete:** Thank yoooouuu

_**pocket pete is offline** _

**loml:** i'm not being left alone with you

**You:** we've literally been on multiple dates

**loml:** irrelevant

**You:** fair enough, sleep well <3

_**loml is offline** _

**You:** sirius & remus, don't drink too much! drink water! no hangovers :(

_**You went offline**_


	21. Peter's phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry updates have been taking so long ive been procrastinating so much literally all ive done for like,, weeks is play genshin impact thats my bad whoops
> 
> Peter's contacts:  
> James - Dorky one  
> Sirius - Hot one  
> Remus - Friend  
> Lily - Flower girl
> 
> faceclaims:  
> Sirius - Robert Sheehan  
> Peter - Dane Dehaan  
> James - Dev Patel  
> Lily - Karen Gillan  
> Remus - Matthew Hitt

_Jan 20th, 1:43pm_

**_Hot one is online_ **

_**Hot one sent 1 attachment** _

__

**Hot one:** the vibe is low quality facetime screenshot

_**You are online** _

_**Dorky one is online** _

**Hot one:** on your marks get set go

_**You sent 1 attachment** _

**Hot one:** 7/10 make it more blurry

 **You:** You're right I've failed

 **Hot one:** not failed you got like a b

_**Dorky one sent 1 attachment** _

_**** _

**You:** You look ,, dead

 **Hot one:** 9/10, incredible execution

 **Dorky one:** :)

_**Flower girl is online** _

**Flower girl:** what's going on

 **Dorky one:** honestly I don't really know

 **You:** Something about vibes and facetime screenshots?

 **Hot one:** wow

 **Flower girl:** oh I see

_**Flower girl sent 1 attachment** _

**Hot one:** 7/10 i said BLURRY people!

 **Flower girl:** beggars can't be fucking choosers

 **Hot one:** oh i sure as hell can

_**Friend is online** _

**Friend:** I'm not gonna beg for a stranger to fuck me, beggars can absolutely be choosers.

 **Hot one:** getting bold arent we?

 **You:** Unnecessarily vulgar but his point stands 

**Dorky one:** hey Remus are you gonna send one :))

 **Friend:** ffs

 **Friend:** I don't have any facetime screenshots wtf

 **You:** It just needs to be blurry, apparently

 **Friend:** Fine

_**Friend sent 1 attachment** _

_**** _

**Dorky one:** put that tongue away sir!

 **You:** Who's she?

 **Friend:** Alice.

 **Flower girl:** who's alice

 **Friend:** You can't assume she's my friend?

 **Flower girl:** fair point

 **Dorky one:** sirius what's his grade

 **Hot one:** 10/10

 **Dorky one:** what the fuck

 **Friend:** You can't bribe me with a meaningless grade system for photos

 **Hot one:** dont try to act smart with me ive seen ur room

 **Friend:** I

 **You:** Sorry what?

 **Flower girl:** oo what's his room like

 **Hot one:** i think a fucking hurricane went through it

 **Friend:** Okay listen here you little shit

 **Hot one:** my que to dip :)

 **Dorky one:** aw noooo

_**Hot one is offline** _

**Dorky one:** damn :(

 **Dorky one:** Remus mate he'll probably clean your room if you ask nicely he cleaned mine the other day

 **Dorky one:** also an actual response to your photo: you're still hot

 **Friend:** Thank you but I'm leaving too

_**Friend is offline** _

**Dorky one:** come ooonnn :'(

 **Flower girl:** stop scaring away the fucking gays, james

 **You:** BHGVFJKHGFCF

 **Dorky one:** pete is she right

 **You:** Oh definitely

 **Dorky one:** fuck

 **Flower girl:** Anyways

 **You:** Wait omg we all need to meet for real

 **You:** Like Remus was the hesitant one right? We should meet up sometime

 **Flower girl:** I actually like that idea

 **Dorky one:** YES LET'S ASK SIRIUS AND REMUS LATER

 **Dorky one:**!!!!!

 **You:** :)!!

 **You:** ttyl?

 **Dorky one:** ttyl!

 **Flower girl:** bye Peter <3

 **You:** Bye !

_**You went offline** _


End file.
